Here, Seth is himself. Completely, wonderfully himself. Here, he moves without awareness of the world around him – moves smoothly, swiftly, through katas, fluid and graceful and at home in his body, thick braid moving ribbonlike behind him.
I’m surprised no one else watches him. Surprised and glad, for he’d surely notice a crowd of drooling girls! But surprised that he hasn’t developed a fan club, that no one else is interested…
Am I interested?
Seth is my friend. Becoming my good friend. But, watching him, I am acutely aware of his body in a way that I’ve never been before. Before, I was just admiring how comfortable he was. Now, my eye is drawn to the beauty there – muscular arms, strong legs, broad chest…
I’ve given him brief hugs hello and goodbye… but now I wonder how it would feel to nestle against that chest for a while, tangle my fingers in the chest hair that, judging my his arms, he must have in abundance. What it might feel like to kiss him…
I close my eyes for a moment, letting the Seth in my imagination replace the Seth in the dojo. Gods. Kissing Seth… my breath catches at the image, and suddenly it’s all I want in the world, and it feels like all I’ve ever wanted.
I open my eyes, and he’s watching me, a puzzled look on his face as he shakes his hands out. I blush deep scarlet and manage a wave… he waves back with a small smile.
From Capri to Capri's parents...
We're up to $2,665.60! Let's see if we can push it to $3,000!
Remember, every dollar facilitates one phone call to RAINN's hotline.
Hi! This is freakin' brutal.
I'm actually pondering dropping my theme... my brain is getting too foggy.
Pro: Less pressure on myself.
Con: I want to prove that I can do it.
But I need to remember that I *am* on brain-deadening drugs. So it is an accomplishment even that I'm still here.