Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

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Mom

So I talked to my mother last night.

I don't know why I do this. I just keep hoping that one day I'l be able to have a rational conversation with the woman. It's not going to happen

So last night. (Or the night before? Hell, I can't remember.) Talked to Elayna... nice uneventful conversation. And she passed the phone to Mom.

Now, this conversation... I swear Mom had a bowl full of little slips of paper next to her, with a random fact printed on each, and she was drawing them at random and trying to figure out a way to make them relate to the Boston move. This has to be some sort of game. I don't know how else this conversation could've happened.

Mom: "Adam's overweight."
Me: "...yes?"

It is an undeniable fact that Adam could lose a few pounds, yes. But why did this enter the conversation? So Mom could establish that Adam was not 100% fit and could stroke out or have a heart attack from the stress of moving.

?!?

It got more surreal from there. Random thing after random thing. The one where I finally snapped was where she was talking about the stress of finding a new job + relocation, and she said, "Trust me, I know from experience..."

Me: "No. You do not."
Her: "Yes, I do!"
Me: "Mom, you have never moved between states in your adult life."
Her: "I moved from New York to Florida!"
Me: "When you were a kid."
Her: "I was 18."
Me: "You moved with your parents. And you did not have to look for a new job. You didn't have a job til you were in your 30s."
Her, sputtering: "Well, but - I'm older than you, and -"
Me: "Yes, but that doesn't mean you know better than me. And definitely not where this is concerned."

Damn, I'm glad I said that. She's not glad. But it's the damned truth. She's had one interstate move in her life, and she was tagging along with her parents. I've had several. On my own. I'm sorry, age does not trump experience.

Yes, this is stressful. Moving and changing jobs are on the top 10 list of major stressors. Major illnesses are on there, too. So I really do not need the random parental hounding.

Additional frustration: Only reason we're not up there already is because Adam has a niche job. My field is broad-range... if I was currently work-capable, we'd be there, and it would be easier for Adam to find work there if he lived there, I feel. (Incidentally, where I am in the disability process = just got a letter advising me to eport to their doctor for evaluation. People who've gone through this... is this good, bad, or indifferent?)
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  • Liminality #11!

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