Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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When I was in the wilderness survival camp when I was 16 and 17, we were not allowed any books that were not religious texts. Everyone got a bible. I was allowed the Torah I got at my bat mitzvah. This Torah had many blank pages in the back, and I took notes.

I'm not looking at that Torah right now; it's packed. But I remember taking notes on one of my favorite bits... something that very much spoke to my imagination, as I was walking through the desert for six months at the time. When Moses led the Jews through the desert, the Torah - or my translation of it, at least - says that they were led by God in the form of a pillar of smoke by day, and a pillar of fire by night.

And I imagined what that would have been like; I wrote a story about it, of course, because that's what I do, and the story sucked, because I was 16, but still. Imagine that - being led by the absolute presence of your God. Pillar of flame. Pillar of smoke. The absolute wonder of it.

And I wonder - is it better to have faith, or to not need faith? If you take the Torah as fact... there's no way anyone could have lived then without knowing that their God existed and loved them.

That's not faith. Faith is not knowing, and trusting anyway.

...yeah. I'm random today.
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