Where the fuck is Kellen?
It's still in the bathroom. It, the thing I can't name because naming makes it real. Peed on it this morning. Two lines. Not the good kind of lines. And I need to talk to Kellen, and he's on one of his walkabouts, like Anthony calls them.
And I'm starting to come down, but I can't do another line, not now.
The door opens when I'm farthest from it. The Halloween decorations Petra put up flutter in the draft, and Griffin's shoulder brushes against a crepe-paper spider leg as he half-pulls Kellen through the door, Kellen's arm around Griffin's neck. Griffin's jaw is set. I'm surprised - usually he doesn't get involved with whatever Kellen's doing on walkabout.
Kellen looks like hell. Like he always does after this. He looks hollow. Dim. The guys set him on the couch and he leans forward, hands covering his face. So skinny.
"Kellen, I need to talk to you."
Griffin, settling in beside Kellen, looks up at me. "Not now, Crystal. Let him rest."
"It's pretty fucking urgent, Griffin."
"He's just gone through -"
I ignore him. I kneel in front of Kellen, tug on his arms to reveal his weary face. "Kellen."
"Yeah, Crystal?" His voice is rough, like he's been yelling this entire walkabout.
I take a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."
He bites his upper lip, looks away from me. "I know. I'm sorry. I had to."