Mix cocoa powder and sugar 50/50 and add enough water to make a syrupy substance. Beat with fork until lumps vanish.
Meanwhile, in a pan, bring to a simmer a mixture of half water and half milk that also contains crushed coffee beans, vanilla, red pepper, black pepper, cloves, cinnamon, and vanilla.
When hot, add A to B. Strain, and drink.
Orange peel, cinnamon sticks, whipped cream, and brandy or whiskey optional. Moaning encouraged.
Careful, it's hot.