Want to know about mine?
Two biiiig things of vaguely-banana-flavored barium (no lemonade! I stuck to my guns!). Another mixup - they had me down for abdomen and pelvis, sure, but no chest. I produced my paperwork and pointed out the little checked checkbox next to "chest" that matched the ones next to "abdomen" and "pelvis". They called the doctor's office. Et cetera. The chest CT, it turns out, was denied. Oh, fuck it.
The distressing part started when they put the IV in - it was very uncomfortable. And I was cold, but I couldn't put my jacket on because, you know, IV. (In the crook of my elbow, not my hand.)
About half an hour after putting the IV in and pumping saline in - no, I'm not kidding; this is when they were trying to figure shit out with the doctor's office - they came and got me, had me pull my pants down, put me on the table-thingy, which has a name that I'm too tired to look up. And moved me in and out of the scanner a few times. The scanner is like a big doughnut, as told. If you watch House, you've seen it, and all of you watch House, right? You should all be watching House. Misanthropic geniuses = teh sex.
Comes now the distressing part. I've had my arms over my head this whole time, which is... eh. It's a very vulnerable body position, which I don't like during stuff like this, purely psychologically. So I'm already feeling a bit queasy due to my belly actually being distended with the amount of barium I have in me, and being in that sort of physical position. So the guy comes in and asks how I'm doing, and I tell him I'm hanging in there, and he says okay, he's going to put the contrast in now, and he does.
And the next thing I know, I'm jerking my head away and biting my lower lip hard trying not to cry out because holy shit.
I was expecting something like the MRI. The MRI, they told me that I might feel a burning as the contrast entered my system - and I felt a bit of sensation, but it was, as my grandmother would say, "nothin' with nothin'." So they told me the same thing today, and I said okay, and I felt prepared.
And this guy put the contrast in, and I felt like I was having a massive sciatica attack all through my arm, down my body. They told me I might have heat at the back of my throat? I was gagging on it. Had it in my *eyeballs*. They told me I might have it 'round my butt, my crotch... have you ever done that thing with the fresh-peeled ginger? I did - very briefly. Needed it removed ASAP.
There is no fucking safeword here.
Just breathe. Breathe. Ride it out.
So. Distressing. And I kept repeating that. And maybe that's in part due to the fact that I felt prepared due to past experience, but so very WASN'T.
And docorion's on the phone, so I will go for now.
EDIT: And I napped all afternoon, so knocked out was I.
docorion asked what I was going to do for the rest of the evening; I told him I'd try to write, and go to bed early.
Him: "Looks like you're doing NaNoWriTwoMo..."
Me: "Yeah, but I gave myself permission to do that. Because -" dropping to sultry vampy voice - "I'm not like the other girls."
Him, laughing: "It's true, you're not. But also - you're going through a diagnostic workup. There's a reason they call it that. It's work."
ALSO EDIT: Re: contrast reaction: The guy claimed that it had a stronger-than-usual effect on me because I have tiny veins. o_O Doctors - is that a sense-making thing?