Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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The cycle

As noticed by me and verified by my guys...

I basically operate on an energy deficit, a seemingly-permanent (at this time) spoon deficit. I have varying degrees of slightly more or slightly less than nothing, but I force myself through everyday life anyway.

I can only manage this for about a week and a half, two weeks.

At that point, I go into total shutdown, collapse, and my body needs lots and lots of total rest to recharge enough to get just that little more than nothing that I need to go to work the next day.

Which is what happened yesterday. (And if you know me well, apparently you could see it coming for a bit before that.) So. Yesterday, I had my big sleep and my big rest, and now I have a spoon or two; I am at work and must go to the doctor and later to CVS and later than that to the book fair.

I do not have enough spoons. It would take me more than one day to get enough spoons to stock up and be actually functional. But I don't have enough sick time to take more than one day. I may not get paid for all four hours that I took yesterday.

Hopefully identifying the pattern will help, though.
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