That post will most likely be entitled "Mother-Sucking Cock Fucker". Watch for it!
For right now, I'm too tired, so I'm just posting the end result; I have finally managed to hear back from someone about my heart. I have PVCs, which I thought were (a) something you made a dress out of or (b) something you made boffer weapons out of, but which are in my case Premature Ventricular Contractions. Extra heartbeats. Big disturbing flurries of them.
Good news is, they're Mostly Harmless - but the doctor *does* want me back in the office to talk about 'em. Which is good, because *I* want to talk about 'em, because it's really freakin' uncool.
Can this be caused by low sodium due to Trileptal sodium depletion? Unlikely. Can it still be caused by the Trileptal? Possibly; we've been pumping massive amounts of chemicals into my body to which my body has been reacting poorly in all kinds of ways for almost two years now. I'm thoroughly unsurprised that my heart has started to go screwy. Though I am glad that it is nothing Immediately Critical.
docorion and my dad both say that they'll probably tell me to cut down on caffeine. My response, being that I'm not having these anywhere around the time that I'm having caffeine, was "And dance on alternate Thursdays and wear a blue hat? Because hey, that might help too?" docorion was more amused than Dad was.
docorion also said that stress can be a factor - that the doc will likely ask if I'm under a lot of stress -
- and what can be done to fix that.
"So," I said, "the way to cure the PVCs is to move to Boston."
"Pretty much. Doctor's orders!"
So. There we have it. I'm not freaking out as much. Honestly, I was going to go to the ER on Sunday if I hadn't heard back. Because there, I wouldn't have to leave til I got results - and being that the university's medical system is all online, likely all I'd've had to do is walk in and say "EKG and bloodwork on 7/28, Holter monitor 8/1", and they'd've been able to pull it all up on the computer and give me an answer in less than five minutes.
So. PVCs. Non-life-threatening. Doctor appointment first thing Monday to discuss.