So. I call home. My sister picks up.
"Hey - Mom or Dad home?"
"Yeah, Dad's home. DAD!!!"
It should be mentioned that this is pretty much the extent of the usual 'song-and-sister dialogue. We don't dislike each other. We're just sort of alien to each other and have few common topics of discussion. Anyway.
"Hi, Pop! Medical report."
"Heart palpitations -"
"Cut back on caffeine."
"Right. Actually, I am, but these generally aren't happening at times when I've recently ingested caffeine." (Yes, I am. I've gotten so I can't sleep if I drink coffee at night. Gettin' old, I tell you. Used to have no such effect on me.)
"Your mother had to stop drinking coffee because of heart palpitations. And stop eating chocolate."
"No, that was because she was getting cystic."
"Oh. Right. Who was having heart palpitations? $SISTER?"
"Iiiii dunno. Anyway. I went to the doctor already." It only now occurs to me that my father may be saddened by the fact that he is no longer the first person I call for medical advice. He doesn't know that I call docorion first now, of course, but I always used to consult him before going to the doctor.
"What'd they say?"
"Well, not heart attacks, not that I thought they *were*. Got an EKG, got bloodwork, and I'm going to have a heart monitor."
"Could be caffeine." A light bulb visibly flares over his head from a state away. "Could be your medications!"
"Could be low sodium, depleted by the Trileptal."
"Sodium. Sodium does that. This weather depletes sodium, too."
"There you have it."
"Salt your food more!"
I mime banging my head against the wall.
"Or maybe you have to take a sodium supplement."
"That might be more effective..."
The conversation winds down. I ask how Elayna is; I am told that she is well. I request her presence on the phone and receive it. Briefly, though, because she's on page 400something of Half-Blood Prince and would like to get back to it, thanks - but she's looking forward to coming home, but she'll miss Grandma and Grandpa and her Florida friends, and soccer is awesome and she's having fun in camp and love to Adam byebye.
I hang up and turn to Adam. "He's not going to tell Mom."
"What? Why not?"
"Oh, not deliberately."
"Oh. I thought you meant like he thought it was better for her not to know or something."
"No. He's just going to forget. He always forgets. I guarantee you, they're going to be up here in a week and a half, we're going to be at the dinner table, I'm going to mention something about this, and she's going to yell at me for not telling her. I am making a special point of telling you this so that you can testify that I told him, and that he forgets everything."
I love my dad. Really. But he's a bit of a space cadet.
And now I'm wondering if I should call Mom later just to make sure she finds out now. I don't really want to talk to her, though.