Me: "...and she said there are hypoallergenic dogs-"
Adam: "No there are not. I react to all dogs."
Me: "What about Lamb Chop?" (Adam's mom's poodle when he was a kid.)
Adam: "Not Lamb Chop..."
Me: "But poodles aren't really dogs."
Adam: "See? Only dog we could have, and you don't want one."
Me: "I could deal with a standard poodle. Because there's just something wrong about a standard poodle. In terms of scale. You look at a standard poodle and just go, '...the fuck?'"
Adam: "Just - too big?"
Me: "Yeah. They just look Not Right. Just... '...the fuck?' If we're ever going to get a dog, we really ought to get one that just makes people go '...the fuck?' Oooh! Like a Labradoodle! Those are wrong, too."
Adam: "Go wronger than that."
Me: "There's wronger?"
Adam: "I dunno. A chihuahua-poodle mix. A Chiwoodle. Three feet tall and bald."