Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

Things are packed. Pretty sure I have the proper amount of clothing, etc.

I have packed Elayna's flute, a notebook, and my meds. Those are the most important things. Anything else, I can pick up when I get there, should I have forgotten it.

Elayna has been interrupting me every thirty seconds for, um, two weeks now. I can't read anything. I can't write anything. Even now, when I have a sliver of time when I might be able to write - transcribe the bit about ten-year-old Alanna at the very least, if not flesh it out - I can't. My brain is itchy, my body twitchy; I know that the moment I type the first word, I will hear the child yell "Mommy!"

There is a lack of respect there that needs to be worked on. But my brain is too fried to work on it with her right now.

Not a lack of respect so much as an inability to recognize that conditions in which respect is needed currently exist, I suppose. But again - too fried at this moment to teach her to recognize said conditions.

Not a happy mental state. Can't think straight.

Have not had one single second to myself. For weeks.

Knew that was bad for me. Didn't realize *how* bad.

Love my child. But I cannot live like this.

Soon. *sigh* Soon.
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