Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

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Excerpted from a really long e-mail... an attempt to suss out why I'm not currently open to new relationships.

...my brain is thoroughly incapable of handling any new relationships right now - I'm *not* handling my current relationships to the degree that I should be; I'm fragmented and dependent, which I don't like. I want, I need, to be an equal partner, and I am not physically capable of being an equal partner to my current partners right now. Emotionally, yes. Physically, no. I refuse to do that to anyone else - plus, I don't think I'd be able to maintain emotional equality if I expanded my focus to an additional partner, and I won't do that; I won't leave them with less of me than they deserve.
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