Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

  • Mood:

Difficult

I think that half the reason I'm so difficult in relationships is that I feel the need to be 100% honest - and do so in part by shoving all of the harsh and difficult parts of me to the front.

"See this. Look at this. This is what you're getting into. This is what you are signing on for. Be aware of what you are signing on for."

Because if they can't handle the worst of me, they should back out now, before anyone gets hurt.

My brain is weird, but has internal logic.

Abandonment complex much? Yeah.

But if you can handle me at my most difficult, if you love me when I'm rough and bitchy and depressed and angry and sick - sick all the damn time, though that isn't something I can control - then I know you'll stay.

And I have flares of this. Spikes at random points.

I need to work on not frontloading it so hard.

But I want to be honest, and you need to know what you're signing on for.
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