Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

A note.

Something I didn't know was there. I just like to keep this stuff documented because it is a roadmap to my brain. This is.... not a trigger, but something near to one, I suppose. Something that made me acutely uncomfortable.

And I'll say that this may have been exacerbated by the fact that we had a rapist/murderer running around Atlanta late last week, and that he was caught because a hostage talked her way out of his grasp.

Which is what I did.

Story of my rape, for background.

So in the final episode of Wonderfalls, there's this bank robber. He takes Jaye, her sister, a security guard, and the store manager hostage, hijinks ensue. And Jaye's trying to talk her way out of it. And I'm feeling creepy, but okay.

And toward the end, Jaye has to help him escape through a door in the back, and he takes her with him. And he takes a car, and he puts her in the passenger side, and he goes around to the driver's side. And Adam is gesturing at the TV saying something like "Duh, now is the time to run!", and I'm saying in the tiny voice, "No," because I know. Because this is shock. I know that she can't run. Because that happened to me. And she asked if he was going to let her go, and he said he couldn't, and it was just like me. And I was just sitting there on the couch feeling very small. And obviously Jaye wasn't going to get raped on TV. This was Fox, not HBO. But I remembered being in that car. And I guess I've gotten desensitized to other things that'd happened that night, because I'd experienced or seen them since, but that one's fairly unique, and it's the first time I'd seen that since then. So it made me feel very deer-in-the-headlights.

Landmines everywhere.

I'm okay. The episode ended and I talked to docorion and I slept and I'm okay today. It just freaked me out and I'm making a note of it.
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