Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

So I'm on the phone with my sister when Elayna starts waving a sheet of paper in my face and pointing vaguely to its lower third.

Me: "What?"
She takes the paper down. It's the sheet music for her band's medley, which she's just been practicing (Louie Louie/King Tut/Tequila). "Right here, where we're supposed to yell 'Tequila!', they say we have to yell something else."
Me: "What?"
Elayna: "Fa shizzle."
Me: "WHAT?!?"
My sister: "Did she say 'fa shizzle'?!"
Me: "Yes. Yes, she did. Elayna, you can't say that! Mama forbids!" (I say "Mama forbids" a lot, but this time, I really mean it.)
Elayna: "Why not?"
Me: "It's a bad word is why not!"
My sister: "Did she seriously just say 'fa shizzle'?"
Me: "Yes, she did. Elayna, you tell your teacher that's a bad word. It's a slang version of the s.h. word."
Elayna: "The bad word for poop?"
Me: "Yes."
Elayna: "They want me to say the bad word for poop?"
My sister: "They want her to say 'fa shizzle'?!"
Me: "Yes! And you're not going to do it. I understand that the teacher may not want to use the name of an alcoholic beverage. Although it is the name of the song, and your teacher knew that when she picked the bloody song. But. You are not saying 'fa shizzle'."
Elayna: "It really means poop?"
Me: "Yes. It is an urban slang version of the s.h. word."
My sister: "I told Mom is was a black thing."
Me: "I'm not telling Elayna that."
My sister: "Is the teacher black?"
Me: "No, the teacher is white. And old. And an idiot who wants to be hip and trendy without actually knowing the meanings of the phrases she uses, apparently."
Elayna: "I am not saying that."
Me: "No. You are not."

Seriously!

Elayna, a few minutes later: "I think we should just say 'Tequila'. I mean, it's a drink that can get people drunk, but everyone knows that. Everyone is informed and can make the right decisions about getting drunk."
Me: "You rock."

Seriously.

'Fa shizzle'.

Fuck no.

On the bright side - tsarinanic's wedding is apparently on the day of the first night of Passover! Which had Mom all disapproving for a minute...

Mom: "How could she plan her wedding on Passover?"
Me: "Uh, Mom? She's not Jewish. Plus, it's a daytime wedding! This means you have us for the seder!"
Mom: "Oh, good!"

So! Good. This means that I'm not likely to get an appointment with my regular hairstylist, because "she's Jewish, she's going to be spending the whole day cooking!", but yay - after the wedding, Grandma's kneidlach! And leftovers the next day. :)

I love tsarinanic, and I love Passover food.

I was going to say "two great tastes that taste great together", but that would have been so wrong. Not as wrong as a bunch of elementary-schoolers lowering their instruments to yell "Fa shizzle!", though.

EDIT: Okay, it's been brought to my attention that I confused "shizzle" with "shiznit". I'd like to point out that my sister did as well, and she actually own Snoop Doggy Dog albums.

It's still wrong and I won't have it. *determined nod*

I mean, really.

Fucking heathens.
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