Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

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Beginning

When I saw satia a few weeks ago, she was very taken with the Semisonic lyric "Every new beginning is some old beginning's end." I think she was thinking of it in terms of using it as a writing prompt sometime...

What I've been thinking about lately...

Strike that. Reverse it.

Every old beginning's end is a new beginning.

It's not as melodic. It wouldn't cut it as a song lyric. But it captures what's going through my head lately. To wit:

Every relationship helps you learn more about yourself. And my relationship with volta taught me more about myself than most - in large part because I really was in uncharted territory. There's little that fascinates me more than mental mapmaking. (If that makes sense.)

I've learned a lot about what I want, what I desire - ultimately what I need. And who I am in response to those things.

That's damn valuable knowledge. And I am genuinely grateful for it.

My breakup with volta was most similar, in comparing past breakups, to my breakup with mightywombat. Essentially: "We are just not supposed to be in the kind of relationship that we're trying to keep ourselves in. Really love you, though. Friends? Cool."

With more layers than that, of course, in both cases. But. We both learned...

I know people still worry whether I'm okay. Yeah, I'm okay. :) This is a positive step. And I'm excited to see what happens in my life with this new knowledge. It seems that whenever you become aware of more stuff, the universe responds to that, send you more stuff to use that new experience on...

There's more than one first step in your life. You can take one any time you want.
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