Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

All I wanted was some cookie sheets!

The saga of the bakeware.

You see, I had no interest in creating a wedding registry. No, I'm serious. We have plates, we have towels. Why ask for new plates and towels?

It was Adam who wanted the ^*&^(*^*$&^ registry.

There's a bit of a role reversal in our relationship; I tend to handle the traditionally male aspects of things, and he tends to handle the traditionally female. We gravitate towards this naturally. Part of why we work so well together; we complement each other perfectly. We dovetail.

So the Macy's person was addressing all of the talk about the registry to me, but it was Adam who was vibrating in his seat, his hands clutching the scanner...

She finished speaking of the registry, and Adam was unleashed. The $350 Kitchenaid mixer. "You'll never use that!" "I might!" Blender, food processor. Mandoline. (Don't ask me what the hell a mandoline is for. The only thing I watch on Food Network is Iron Chef.)

I chimed in on a few things - we needed a toaster. Did actually need one. So I chose the funky retro one instead of just a generic toaster. Chose the cute salt and pepper grinders.

The only thing I asked for in the kitchen section was the bakeware and a cake plate.

Baking is pretty much the only thing I do in the kitchen. Well, I'm also adept at microwaving. But really, it's all about the baking. I do cookies. I do cakes. I do the molasses cookies for every occasion I can think of, really, and Elayna and I make and decorate sugar cookies and peanut butter cookies...

And our cookies sheets are so ugh. Two of them are warped. They're discolored. I hate them.

So. The only things we actually needed - besides the toaster - were cookie sheets. And the covered cake plate. Because we have two cats, that's why.

And they had great cookie sheets! Very nifty, with silicone handles. Handles that stay cool. Awesome!

So. I shot three cookie sheets, some loaf pans (I am terribly fond of various breads), a bundt pan, two cake pans, a 9X13, a 9X9. Which is all I need for my kitchen. Oh, and the cake plate.

All I wanted/needed.

So okay. Fast forward. People are buying us stuff. We got the cake plate! Same shipment as Adam's beloved mixer! From one of Adam's cousins.

When his mom found out... she threw a mini-fit.

Turns out that this cousin... well, let's say that he could afford a lot more than that. Seriously a lot. And she was just incensed that he had only purchased the mixer and "a cake plate, for god's sake!" I weakly defended the cake plate. "I really need the cake plate!"

This was not the last time I defended the cake plate to people. But I'll skip the rest.

But ah, my cookie sheets. My poor neglected cookie sheets. I watched as other things showed up - the food processor, the china (it is a lovely pattern), et cetera. But no one touched the bakeware. My cookie sheets languished, forlorn. And I was likewise forlorn, and kvetched to Adam. He would shrug and hypothesize that no one was buying them because that would seem cheap - a place setting or two of the china was a substantial gift. A $10 cookie sheet was not. "But if they bought a bunch of the bakeware, it wouldn't be a cheap gift!" "I don't know, honey..."

The wedding rolled around. Ah, what a wonderful wedding. :) But after the wedding, the gifts stopped rolling in.

And my cookie sheets remained on the registry, all forlorn.

I kvetched to my mother. She said, "Your sister is buying you the cookie sheets."

Huzzah!

So I waited. And waited. And waited.

And called Mom again - "Are you sure she's getting me the cookie sheets?" "Yes, yes, she is."

And I waited.

And finally, a month later, she hit the registry.

And I looked, and verily did I say "Aaaaaagh!!!"

She had purchased a cutting mat... one cake pan...

and one cookie sheet.

Who the hell uses only one cookie sheet? Is there a recipe out there that makes only a dozen cookies? Because the molasses cookie recipe, for example, makes six dozen cookies. One needs three cookie sheets, an hour on one's feet, and an excellent sense of timing to make those cookies. And possibly ballet training in one's past. With only one cookie sheet... *eyeroll* All day, man. All. Day.

One cookie sheet.

Adam and I went online last night and used the gift certificates we'd received to purchase a few things... including most of the bakeware. Including the other two cookie sheets.

I am not an ingrate. I just find this incredibly amusing. In the "aaaaagh!" sort of way.

$10 each. The oooonly thing I wanted. *eyeroll*

It figures. :)
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