I just realized something.
Not only do I go home at an early hour now, so - when I'm home before him - I get mail by default...
I just ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon and from DeepDiscountDVD - most of which is for other people, but some of which is for him.
So I get to open eeeeevery package. And he doesn't even get to watch.
I win
*'songboogie*