No, not the sadness. Bear with me.
But when I grabbed a glass of merlot and retreated to the corner to watch everyone...
So many people, meeting for the first time. So many chunks of my life that had never before intersected. It reminded me of the circus folk and the people of Spectre and the people in Edward Blooms "real life" all mingling, and the son's realization - all this is true.
My grandmother met my birthmom for the first time tonight. My birth-uncle and adoptive-uncle had never met - but it turns out that they have some mutual friends. Adam's mom met my birthmom.
My birth and my adolescence, and what passes for my adulthood. All of these people who know different parts of me, who are different parts of me. It was incredibly surreal. It was like watching the family doctor interact with Norther Winslow and the Siamese twins. That strange.
I don't know that I'm really able to explain it. I'll work on that; maybe it'll end up being a column. I can see that.
Everyone liked each other. It was a good night.
On the way there, though...
Adam's mom: "Do you want to borrow a smaller purse?"
Me: "No, mine's fine."
Adam's mom: "It's so big, though! What do you have in there?"
Me: "Mmm. Wallet, camera, Clie - my notebook. I need my notebook."
Adam's mom: "We're going out to dinner. You don't need your notebook to go to dinner."
Adam: "Actually, mom... yes, she really does."
*hugs self* Is good night. Is good weekend.
Except that they are making me do girly stuffs. I have this stuff all over my fingernails. *regards hands suspiciously* And tomorrow I go for a facial and I get my hair done and my makeup done - Adam's mom says I don't wear enough makeup. "Your generation!" she says. I'm making sure it's very minimal. They wanted to yank out my eyebrows. I said nooooo. I don't want ugly-ass exaggeratedly-skinny eyebrows. That does not suit me.
I made the mistake of saying, regarding the eyebrow intentions, "I don't want to look like a circus freak for my wedding." Sotto voce to Adam - but Elayna heard. And repeated me. But thankfully only to the salon receptionist.
Elayna is so tired on this trip. She's three - is it three? - hours off schedule, so she's been falling asleep at dinner. My poor sweetie. The exhaustion-related crankiness is fairly minimal, though, which is a Good Thing. And she's reminding me how damn clever she is. :)
Ah but yes anyway tomorrow! Facial, hair, makeup, pictures, signing the ketubah and oh yeah, um, getting married.