Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

Flirting and Sex

I have an almost-husband.

I have a Master.

I have one other person that I'm sexually interested in.

That's it for sex.

So, flirting...

I love to flirt. It is terribly fun. And I had someone express a degree of confusion recently, regarding not knowing how to flirt with me, in terms of "how much is too much?"

What I told him, basically, is that I'm not going to have sex with him. As long as he knows that, we can flirt madly. It's just important for anyone getting flirty with me to know that that isn't going to happen, as I do not want to lead anyone on... but at the same time, keeping from flirting is nigh-impossible. It's just the way my brain works. So...

* I don't want to constrain my brainmeats and all of my behaviors to avoid giving the slightest hint of flirtation. That's like Chinese foot-binding. Except in my head.

* I don't want to lead anyone on.

Get it? Got it? Good.

The answer to "how much is too much?"... it varies from person to person. I wish I could define it, really; it would make things easier to 'splain! But it varies. I'm speaking of verbal and e-mail flirting here. The only answer I can give is "I'll let you know if it's too much." Trust me to do so. I've done so for a few people.

In person? Again, there's a variance. Pretty much everyone gets hugs; hugs are nonsexual for me, for the most part. Some people get snuggles.

No one gets kissing, no one gets to feel me up, etc. :) No one but yendi, Master, and for a very few things - more soon, I hope- kires gets anything other than nonsexual hugging or snuggling.

Just to lay all cards on table, so people know where the boundaries are. :)
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