Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

Observations on Incubus Dreams

If something happens in the first three pages, I don't regard it as a spoiler. So.

I cringed. "[Yendi], first problem..."
Yendi: "Yeah?"
Me: "She said squeak the mundanes. Um. I think she meant squick." (EDIT: amokk pointed out that she likely meant "freak". I guess I was just thinking "squick" because I was thinking of the rest of the book.)
Elayna: "Squeak? Squeak the mundanes?"
Me: "Yeah."
Elayna: "That's insanity."

"That's insanity." I love my daughter.


* All of a sudden leopards are antisocial?

* All of a sudden Anita is a female ejaculator?
(Me: "No one noticed that before? Jean-Claude, Richard, the guy at the Burger King drive-through window? No one noticed she was squirtin'?"
Yendi: "Well, that's another thing off the checklist. Next book will involve watersports, I think."
Me: "Nathaniel's pretty submissive. I bet she'll make him eat her poop.)
(No, not saying female ejaculation is icky, far from it, I'm just amused. Now she has to fight to keep from raising the dead, from fucking everyone in a ten-mile radius, and from having sex within a room that contains anything that would require dry-cleaning.)

* Does anyone have a total of how many guys she's fucked yet this book? I'm losing track.

No, I'm serious.

* Okay, she talks a lot during sex. Like a ridiculous amount. I'd be insulted it I were some of these guys.

If you're consistently forming coherent words, the sex just isn't that good, y'know?

* Oh dear gods. She just said "I don't lust after strangers." That is so funny. (Yendi: "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet!)

EDIT:

*Also, apparently the ardeur is sort of a metaphysical hypoglycemia.

* Aaaand now Anita has a Problem with threesomes? Am I the only one who remembers her takin' it up the ass from Asher whilst she was fucking Jean-Claude? She didn't seem upset by the notion of a threesome then (EDIT: Apparently I am, because it didn't happen. He just came on her ass. Still, if you're fucking on guy and you're simultaneously active enough with the other guy that he comes on your ass, that counts as a threesome in my book.)...

In addition... the complete lack of editing is crystal-clear. There are typos, transpositions, etc., at least every three pages. There was a very creative spelling of "especially". Seriously. The publisher didn't even run spellcheck. We have the wrong "its". We have total italics fuckups.

And Comma Disease.

Her previous books were not this poorly edited. I mean, Cerulean Sins was not even this poorly edited. I now see how poorly edited one book can be.

Comma Disease is one of my pet peeves. yendi has an extremely mild form of it, but he has an editor. Me. And I do my job and take the extraneous commas out.

But! Laurell has no editor. And thus all the little commas are free to frolic across the page and fuck the other commas, perhaps as the victims of Comma Ardeur, often three, or five, on one, and kinda rough, because, that's how the comma likes it, and, soon, the whole page, is filled with, commas, and it's highly, distracting, and, annoying.

I will likely add to this after I read more at lunch. I'm only about halfway through the book...
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