The preview issue on the website was the first thing I wrote after a seven-year post-trauma writer's block. It sucks.
Issues 1 and 2 are the second and third things I wrote after the seven-year writer's block. Therefore, they also suck.
It wasn't til issue 3 that I'd gotten the hang of the scripting process, really - and, simultaneously, started to write decently again. The first scene in issue 3 is one of those things than explodes full-form onto the page. And I think I've been doing well since then.
Issue 1, I sliced up and reassembled in a far better fashion for inclusion in Shooting Star #6 (which will likely be solicited in next month's Previews; I'll let you know, of course). So. The first installment is good. It conveys lots of the necessary info. Visually - it's freakin' brilliant, thanks to m0usegrrl. I truly have the perfect artist. Not only is she ludicrously talented, but she lives in my city almost as much as I do. She *knows*.
So the first segment conveyed what I wanted it to. Now I'm tackling issue 2. Slice, slice, slice. Several pages of totally flat exposition. I've also decided that no one in the Talthar Kithrayna knows the details of what Julia did when she came into her power - because with the Issue 1 revamp, I show that now, so I don't have to devote two pages here to explaining it; you'll have the (fairly brutal - thanks, X'ana!) visual in issue 1, and I can leave a little to the imagination in issue 2 for the *why* and the exact details of *what*.
Speaking of which, I freakin' LOVE the way X'Ana drew this in the first segment. Amazing work.
I'm cutting a lot of meeting exposition. I'm cutting the appearance of Ani at the end, leaving that segment for Katrianna (and Trey) alone.
I'm cutting Capri.
I like Capri's bouncy comic relief the way it's written. But I can't justify her presence. It's too public a place. We don't need to establish the "Capri's not a little girl anymore - dude, could those leather pants be any tighter?" thing. It's fun. I did it because it's fun. But it's unnecessary. Also, leaving her out save for bare quiet mention keeps her a mystery.
I can't believe I have to cut Capri. But I really do. And there's no room for her in issue 3, so she'll have to debut in 4, which means oy, a BIG change in issue 4...
Is cool. I'm a better writer now than I was when I wrote this the first time around.