Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

  • Mood:

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Bought a scale.

Checked weight.

88 pounds.

I have failed my saving roll against further catastrophic weight loss.

4 pounds in 5 weeks.

I don't know how this scale matches up with the one at my doctor's office. The one that Publix cruelly yanked away matched it perfectly. I'll have to see - I have a doctor's appointment in a few days, and I can synchronize then. The GP. Who I'd been sent to because of the weight loss. So now we at least get to be happy that I don't have breast cancer, but then we have to be even more concerned about the weight loss.

The Keppra made me nauseous too, as I built up.

And these drugs wouldn't impact my body so harshly if there was more of my body to impact, to absorb the shock, but one of the ways they impact my body is peeling off the pounds, so hey! Vicious cycle.

I have been drinking milkshakes and eating Double Stuf Oreos. I eat pasta all the goddamn time - I do not see how pasta can possibly be fattening at this point.

The kid is worried about me. "You're losing weight so fast, Mommy."

I just did the math, and I definitely feel nauseous now. I've lost 47 pounds in 11 months. My kid weighs 46, according to this scale.

I could be 90. I'm allowing myself a 2-pound variance so's to not freak myself out more.

But. Dammit.

Can I fast-forward to the place where I have perfect seizure control and I'm not fucking shrinking anymore and can consistently think straight? Please.
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