Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

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On the topic of my fiance

This also goes with my restructuring theme.

yendi, yesterday: "All I need to know about her... is that she defriended me when she defriended you."

This thing is pretty exclusively a local-friends thing. Or, if it's not, it doesn't matter when it's internet-only people.

yendi is an amazing person. He's smart, he's funny, he is loving and sweet, and he's an amazing friend to have.

And, because he's quiet, he gets overlooked completely.

And he doesn't get regarded as an individual person. He gets regarded as someone who's vaguely in the background when I'm around.

In restructuring my energy, I've been making a list. The first thing on it, for a long time, has been that if you don't appreciate my daughter, you're not my friend.

This doesn't mean you have to love her. It just means that you need to understand her place in my life and appreciate that.

But to know me, you've got to understand that "Elayna's mom" is an important part of me.

I've been aware that this overlooking-Yendi thing is a problem - but I didn't realize until yesterday that that really needs to be on my list as well.

If you do not see Yendi as his own person, if you do not appreciate him-

You're not my friend.

And this has been the case with a lot of local acquaintances lately. People. Don't. See. Him.

He and Elayna are the most important people in my life.

If you can't recognize that, you don't know me.

We made a list in the car yesterday, Yendi and I, of the people who ignore him and of the people who view him as his own person. Locally, the list is short - and we're restructuring accordingly.

I'm not counting this solely as "Yendi is a good friend and I go out to lunch with him and stuff". I'm just saying that there are people who don't notice or care if he's in the room or not.

And like he said in comments yesterday, he doesn't care about this like I do. He is accustomed to being Mr. Cellophane. But it pisses me off, because he deserves more.

manifestress and photognome see him, appreciate him. dark_blade. Among others. Out of town, of course there's morenasangre and farren, m0usegrrl...

If you're not listed here, I'm not discounting you, I'm just too brainspinny to list everyone. If you see him, you already know you see him.

If you don't - like I said yesterday, I pity you, because you're missing out on one of the most wonderful people I've ever known.

There's another thing on that list, that "if you don't [see this], you don't know me or care to know me, you're faking it" list. But I ain't sayin'.

But there you go.

EDIT Further clarification! Italics from avivasedai...

Is there room on the list for people who do know that he's an independent person, an interesting, cool, quirky, unique, worth knowing human being, but haven't friended him and haven't conversed with him?

Absolutely!

is this more geared towards those in your personal sphere who do treat him like Mr. Cellophane?

Exactly.
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