Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

Little accomplishments, and writerbrainishness

No matter what else happens in a day, if I do a little writing, I can go to bed feeling like I did something.

Today wasn't a good day. Horribly manic even after the work chaos had passed. My brain just... see, this is how I know that I was never bipolar, because if I was bipolar, this mania would be familiar. It isn't. And it freaks me right the hell out.

And I tried to write through it, but I couldn't, which only frustrated me more.

But I wrote two little snippets tonight after I settled down, so I'm okay.

My process is 100% different on this new thing. No pushing, no pre-planning. No editing, as some will have already noticed. I'm focusing on just relaxing and letting the story fall through my brain, through my fingers, and I'll worry about technique later.

And it's not just that - I'm just writing differently. I'm not asking these characters questions. I'm just trusting that they'll share everything they need to, given time. I don't know if this makes sense at all, but - I'm not involving myself in the process. It isn't A Shadesong Story. I'm not writing like I write.

But I think this is necessary. I'm having to relinquish control in a lot of areas of my life lately, and I tend to be very iron-grip about my writing. Just relaxing and letting it be can be good for me.

And like I at-first said - on days when I can't do anything, the small accomplishments reassure me. I have let the universe do what it needed to do through me, and I don't have to push myself physically, I don't have to force myself to do things I'm not up to doing. I've done something that counts.

And now I get to go for a walk. Yay me!
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