Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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I swear to god I love my daughter but she is DRIVING ME CRAZY.

*pant* *pant*

This is Day Three of being home with her all day. Just me. All day. And y'know, I want to not work, or to work part-time, so I can have more time with her, but I could not survive home-schooling, because she is driving me FUCKING BONKERS. Whining whining. She doesn't want to do her homework. Well, she can't watch TV until she does.

She won't stop talking.

This is why I start out cranky every day. Because the door flies open and I get her and yendi talking talking talking while I'm waking up. I need quiet. I really really need quiet.

theferrett posted the other day that he expresses love through touch; that it means a lot to him when Gini kisses his forehead before leaving the bedroom, touches is shoulder on the way through the room.

I am like this as well. And people who know me know that I do this, the reassuring little pats, all the time.

And I smack people on the ass. If your ass is in front of me, I'm gonna smack it. Just FYI. It means I think you're nifty.

But the other thing for me, the way to show me you care?

For the love of god, shut up.

Not all the time. Just - when I'm obviously working on something in my head. Especially when I *tell* you I'm working on something in my head. When I'm following story-threads.

Especially, though this is not something that happened today, when I have my notebook out and I am actually writing - shut UP. Stop yapping at me. Shut up shut up shut up. Shut. Up.

If your name is not Elayna, my writing comes before you. No slight intended. It's just that that's who I am. That's what's going on in my head, every minute of every day, and if you like me, you will understand that every so often I will need you to shut up. When I've alrady told you I'm folowing a storybit, you will notice that I will start to get growly when you keep fucking interrupting me.

If your name IS Elayna, I'll still get really fucking annoyed. I just won't say "Shut the fuck up." I will try to deal with it better. But I still won't be happy.

I have spent four of the last five days home with her, and the other day I was having my scary biopsy.

I have not had a weekend.

I am headed into one of the four most hectic weeks of the year, workwise. Having not had a weekend. Having A Cancer Scare hanging over my head. Having the fact that I had to take two sick days last week that I Did Not Have hanging over my head. And, um, several hours on two of the three days that I was in getting medical procedures done. And I have to ask my boss if I can scrounge up comp hours by having lunch at my desk all week so I can get to the airport on time to get to Boston.

I really need a fucking break. I really. REALLY. Need a fucking break.

EDIT: Ah, yes. Agitation. Side effect. Not helping.

Long shower helped.

Her whining as soon as I got out? Not helping. "I don't want to do my sentences! I'm sick of writing!"

"Well, you can't do anything else until you do them. You were supposed to do them on Thursday."

"Adam said I could do them Friday!"

"Yes. And today is Sunday."
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