Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

  • Mood:

Medication addendum.

Q: But 'song, isn't a change of medication what you wanted?

A: Yes. Because current side effects are unlivable.

But what I really wanted, what I really really wanted, was for the doctor to come in and say words to the effect of "I looked at your MRI again and oops! I read it wrong the first time and you don't really have epilepsy. That was just stress, not seizures. Sorry about that."

I wonder when I'll stop hoping that. I mean, likely never. But I wonder when I'll stop part-expecting it and being crushed when it doesn't happen.

I am unaccustomed to this being my-life-from-now-on. I'm not living in denial, but I can see it from here.

I don't know how to stop waiting for a rescue that'll never come.
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