January 10th, 2012

Katchoo - Terry Moore

Your human drugs are insufficient.

So. We have learned that 5mg Ambien has zero effect on me.

Also, I realized last night that I have not slept without chemical aid in at least 6 years.


Yes! I went to the doctor. He's somewhat baffled, but testing liver, pancreas, and H. pylorii and, yes, I got the pregnancy test just to be safe. Switched to Ambien - which my insurance company will only cover 10 pills of per month. And doesn't work. I'll be calling my doctor when his office opens to see if I should double the Ambien tonight or just go back to Lunesta. Also I had an EKG, which was normal; intermittent heart palpitations are a stone bitch.

(What concerns me here is that essentially my sleep drug and my heart drug have both suddenly become far less effective, and my body is also mishandling alcohol. Metabolic? I don't know enough about metabolic. But that's two out of my three big meds, and I can't know if my epilepsy drug is likewise less effective until I have seizures, which I haven't yet, but I'm sleep-deprived and cruising into a stressy weekend. Stress and sleep-dep being my most consistent seizure triggers. SO FUN.)

And then I exchanged ill-fitting gifts at Anthropologie and got this in three colors because that is what I do when an article of clothing actually fits. But I did not have time to go to Gather Here for ribbon and buttons, because I failed to plan for an hour at the doctor's office (it's usually ~15 minutes) and I had to go to Peer Supe.

Judah is still asleep. When he gets up, we'll make waffles, and then I'll try to go back to sleep. Well. I don't know if you can call it back. I might have slept an hour last night. Cumulative, not consecutive. For now I will curl up with a book.
Knowing is half the battle

The Care and Feeding of Shira at Arisia

Here is your annual reminder of how to deal with me at a con! I've tried to update it appropriately, but I may not have changed everything over from last year.

* Do not grab me from behind or play guess-who or any of that. My reflex is to strike to disable when I am seized unawares. I do my best to control that reflex, but it's harder when I'm overwhelmed, and cons are overwhelming.
* I have celiac disease; this means I cannot eat that yummy cookie you baked. Please do not be insulted. I am sure it is delicious. Also, if we're out to dinner and you want to try my food, let me put it on your plate, because your fork on my plate will make me sick. Also also, if I decline a dinner invite because I can't eat safely at a place, please don't take it personally. I gotta look out for me. And I'm not going to insist that you change your dinner plans to accommodate me! It's cool, we'll hang out later.
* I also have temporal lobe epilepsy. The seizures I get are complex partial seizures; they don't look like the seizures on TV. The general guideline is that if I'm unusually quiet, you'd be doing well to check and make sure I'm responsive. If I am nonresponsive, please call Adam and/or Judah; their cell phone numbers will be on the back of my badge. Do not attempt any preventative methods like shoving anything in my mouth, please. Just make sure I don't walk into traffic. A normal complex partial seizure lasts 3-5 minutes. If I'm out for more than 5 minutes, that's when you call for emergency medical assistance, not before. Note that I have never required emergency medical assistance for a seizure, so even if I have one, I'm probably going to be fine. If I do have a seizure, I will be very very exhausted and spacey when I come out of it; please help me get up to my room to rest, or find a trusted someone to do so. Again, none of this will probably be necessary, but just in case, you should know it.

* If you know me from LJ, please do introduce yourself! I want to meet you! I know I look busy. Because I am. But I want to meet you! I always feel silly when I've been seeing someone in the halls for three days straight and only after I go home and they comment on LJ do I realize that I totally know who they were.
* If I'm on my way to a panel, I will tell you, and you gotta let me go. This is mostly a factor on Saturday, which is a four-panel day. I absolutely want to hang out with you, but if I'm en route, I don't have time to say more than "hibye!"; please don't take it personally, and do track me down at parties that night!
* I'm a hugger. Hugs are good.

I'm not going to have sex with you! You're a delightful person. But I'm not going to have sex with you. Pressure's off! We can just hang out!

In all seriousness, I have nothing against at-con hookups. For other people. But beyond me having little time this weekend to do any sexual encounter justice, I find that I make decisions about this sort of thing when I'm in con headspace (which is very much an altered state for me!) that I would not make otherwise. In particular, I have had two (2) con hookups at Arisia that ended up being yearlong relationships but should've been one-night stands. (To be fair, there was a third Arisia hookup that went just fine and we had a good low-key few months.) I don't want to get fooled by my headspace again, so I instituted a rule against Arisia hookups in... 2007, I think. If there really is something delicious between us, it'll still be there next week.

The best way to guarantee seeing me is on a panel or at my reading. Other than that, I'm available for meals most days - just text me to set something up! Also I plan on hitting evening parties, and would welcome party buddies.

* If you don't have my cell phone number and feel like you ought to, e-mail me.
* I'm on eight program items. That means that for a not-insignificant part of the con, I will not be answering my phone. Because that's rude, that's why. But if you text me, I'll get back to you as soon as the panel's over (or faster if it's urgent).

Specific to this year
Abbreviated schedule lifted from the "bios" page of Arisia's site:
Fri 7:00pm Introduction to Arisia
Sat 10:00am So, What's New?
Sat 1:00pm Reading: Amundsen, Lipkin, Rios
Sat 4:00pm Social Change and Con Safety for Teens
Sat 5:30pm Sexual Harassment and Assault in Fandom
Sun 2:30pm Speculative Poetry Slam
Mon 10:00am Collaborating Couples
Mon 11:30am Among the Ruins

And I'll likely be at the Backup Project table much of early Sunday, because that's when I can.

PSA for attendees with dietary restrictions
Repeating this from the staff list: There is no gluten-free food in the staff den. Labeling is likely to be inaccurate. I have no information about green room's labeling, ingredients, or safety protocols. EDIT: I've been told that at least some of the stuff in green room ought to be safe. If you have allergies or other dietary restrictions, I recommend that you plan accordingly.
PSA! - by Zarhooie


(My safeword is dayenu, btw.)

I'm dealing with scary medical stuff - and it's taking a lot of dealing; I've been on the phone thrice today about it, and you know I hate phones, and I am waiting for a related callback. I'm desperately underslept. I'm cleaning my house because asim's arriving tonight. I'm trying to plan for food for Arisia, and dealing with associated last-minute stuff. I'm working out a mostly-improv workshop with a fellow BARCC volunteer who just last night offered to co-present with me. I'm trying to get all the slots for the Backup Project filled. I got no writing done today because of these things and because of people trying to make their drama my drama. I have no idea what I'm reading at my reading and I have to get that sorted.

What I'm saying is that I am at a point where Id be overwhelmed even if I had spoons, and I am running on a major spoon deficit.

So my PSA: Unless your e-mail or comment or whatever absolutely has to be dealt with by Arisia, it may not get answered until after Arisia. I have way too many balls in the air right now, and I get the feeling that adding any more would be Very Bad. I tell you this here because right now I'm uncertain if I have the spoons to even say "I don't have the spoons right now - let's talk next week." (I get a lot of e-mail, you guys.)

My priority right now is to clear the decks as much as I can and then prioritize treating myself very gently, being as stress is a seizure trigger. I know you'll appreciate that, because you're awesome.
One Person can Make a Difference


I have a bag of 100 of these on my dining room table. They're pretty.

If you'll be at Arisia and are committed to backing people up, come get one.

Read more about the Backup Project here.