September 2nd, 2010


Thor's Day

State of the 'Song
Somewhat better, as I went to bed early last night - but the oppressive heat is wearing on me, y'all, and the poor air quality is making breathing not awesome. I can haz autumn?

Volunteer Training
Just did volunteer training last week. What am I doing this week? Planning the next training. #^%&^&*. And I'll likely launch into planning January right after this one, but at least then I'll have a break between January's training and June's.

Part of me is twitchy because I want to be out spending my time mobilizing communities and enacting social change, not playing Tetris with a training schedule - I keep reminding myself that training dozens of new people to go fight rape culture also counts and is even a more effective use of my time. But still.

Speaking of BARCC
The Champions for Change Gala is October 28. I'm not the keynote speaker this year, so I don't get to bring a date for free - on the plus side, I do get to hit the open bar. (The keynote speaker is Jessica Stern, which should be really awesome.)

So - anyone want to join me? Tickets are $150, which is steep, yeah, but it's a wonderful night for a good cause, and I will be dressed up all sparkly.

Quote of the Day
"I must learn to love the fool in me, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes to many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and break promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."
--Theodore I. Rubin

Link Soup
* The Mongoliad is live!
* Oliver Sacks on Vision, His Next Book, and Surviving Cancer
* Street harassment cartoon. Yeah, this.

Daily Science
Seven things you didn't know about Mercury.

Work, home, all the SMOFing I didn't do yesterday because the heat wiped me out. If the heat doesn't wipe me out. No evening plans; I am potentially open to some.

Mail call

Elayna is precisely of the age where I can't hear "mail call!" without thinking "Here's the mail, it never fails/to make me want to wag my tail/when it comes, I wanna wail/MAAAAAAAAIIIIIL!"

Dear Elayna,

Thank you for not trashing your dorm room and not doing more than one of the crazy expensive trips at Explo; this refund check from your security deposit and miscellaneous account will cover everything you need for school.

Dear gumboeditor,

Thank you for buying my writing! And paying me for it all timely and stuff!

Dear never1eighty,

Thank you for the "Angel of Fremont Street"-inspired necklace!

Dear idiomagic,

Thank you for the Lush goodies! (Which reminds me that I need to shop for my spoothbrush-swap person.)

I think that's it for stuff I haven't already thanked people for, but the way the past month has been I do not know.

I love getting stuff in the mail. <3


Brief catch-up for new readers: In 2003, I Got Sick; I lost 50 pounds very quickly and lost half my hair. It took three years to grow back. I gained all the weight back and then some. Last summer, I switched medications, ditching the one that had weight gain as a side effect, and lost 40 pounds very quickly. Guess what? I lost half my hair again.

Side note: I did not drop lots of weight quickly on purpose, and I did get the eat a fucking sandwich death glare a lot when I was 5 pounds away from the feeding tube and abjectly terrified, and it's not cool. Don't do that to people. You never know.

Additional side note: I am 118 pounds now. At my skinniest I was 78, but also then I was a junkie barely out of my teenage years; my skinniest as an adult was 85, and yeah, that was Bad. My heaviest was 155ish (I stopped looking because I hated it so much). Before you judge my argh over being 155, please remember that I am 4'11", and that really is a lot for 4'11". My medically-ideal weight is supposed to be 100-105, but honestly, I'm happy at 118. I have a little belly pooch and my upper arms still show that I've lost a bunch of weight recently, whatever. With my medical history, I'd start getting paranoid were I any thinner. I do catch myself double-taking every so often - are my cheekbones too defined? am I In Trouble? no, just the lighting. Because seriously it is terrifying to be in freefall weightwise. But I fit into clothes I like, and my calves are solid muscle. I'm good.

So my hair. Both times it's fallen out, it's been very traumatic for me; my hair is a big part of how I define myself, how I see myself, and when it is thin and lank and barely there, I cannot feel like me. I lose my muchness. I just. Don't. Feel. Right.

It's coming back.

I already mentioned that, and that it was coming in blonde, which perplexes me. But the past few days I haven't just been tsking over the wisps that halo my face and make ponytails impossible. No, it's getting to the point where I can put my hands in my hair and it feels like my hair. Down past my ears to a little above my shoulders, my hair is starting to feel like my hair again. It's still thinner than it ought to be the rest of the way down, but it is actively coming back.

I just keep getting surprised when I touch my hair. Because look! Hair! I can haz! I need a new LJ icon again. Because this one is half my hair. And it's coming back.
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