November 2nd, 2009



Happy birthday to malinaldarose and persis!

Hello to new reader gafferbear!

A bit better today than yesterday, in that I am still very tired but not in a spoon deficit. Mark asked "Is this what being spoonless is? When you're so drained that you can barely move or think?" (I'm paraphrasing.) And yes. This is why it's eye-rolly to hear able-bodied people describe themselves as spoonless when they're just tired, because baby, I get tired, and then there's this.

Today I am just tired, but will have sufficient spoons to do some of the stuff I need to do. Not as many as I start the day with normally. But not a deficit.

We Saved Dave.
Video here. And as I say there, we have the best tribe evar. Made of win and awesome and cake and pie. And I love it when we make good things happen.

Most especially I would like to thank thegreenyear for nudging me to put that sari-silk wrap up for auction - because doing something to help other people pulled me out of my weeks-long funk - and s00j and winning bidder thewronghands for making sure thegreenyear got the wrap!

What Can We Do Next?
We work magic to pull people's butts out of the fire - s00j, Dave, Cat, Vera, among others.

So here's what I'm wondering:

What else can we do? How can we harness the power and magic of our community to make changes when the situation isn't a dire emergency with five-digit medical bills and the loss of houses and all of that?

You think on that and let me know what you come up with.

Interfictions 2 Auctions!
They have begun! Track them here.

The first auction is a gorgeous necklace called "Write Everything Down", by Susan Saltzman. Oh yes I covet this. But I'm going to covet everything, I know it.

I will write up a post today about the anthology, the auctions, the story behind the story. It deserves its own post. And it'll be a sticky post up at the top of my LJ so I can add auction items as they go up. <3

But psst: want a free copy? Click here.

My Latest Knitting Deficiency
Yeah, I can't make picking up stitches make sense to me without seeing it in action. Which means I still can't start Travelling Woman. If I don't manage to get it sorted by Friday, I'm sure kythryne can show me.

Link Soup
* Reminder: Join bitchinkitchn to help raise money for a rape crisis center!
* "Touch/Don't": art about chronic pain.
* Disability and loss.
* Stormtroopers on their day off.
* Supernatural collective nouns.
* I now want a Totoro suit so I can do this.
* I also want this periodic table.

Link Soup: Daily Science Edition
* Has Fermi seen new evidence for dark matter?
* Quantum gravity theories wiped out by a gamma ray burst.
* The long zoom of cells.

Going to reschedule my neurologist appointment, as I'm not quite feeling well enough for the schlep to/from the bus stop. Only other physical-activity thing I need to do is baking cookies, and that I can handle. Otherwise? Really must write.

IF2 post is up...

Right here.

...this is the first thing I've been in that you can order on Amazon. Exciting!

People who made gorgeous things based on "Valentines" - if you want me to post your artist statement, I will. I'll be linking to your store, if you have one, as I add your item to the sticky post. Because you are awesome and deserve lots of business.

And also? Please spread the word about the anthology! I have read the whole thing, and it's fantastic in every sense of the word, and I never stop being delighted that my story is in such august company.

(no subject)

People with curly hair, I direct you to this poll.

For the record, I am not okay with people I'm not intimate with touching/playing with my hair. Variety of reasons. There is a post brewing about me and my hair.

Thinky thoughts about me and my hair

Because now I'm preoccupied and won't be able to focus on other stuff til I type this up.

Hi, I'm 'song, and this is my hair. This is the most recent pic of my hair, and is what it looks like most days. Sometimes it is curlier.

My Hair and Childhood
I grew up with long blonde hair that I loved. Then my mother had it all cut off. Full-on Dorothy Hamill cut. That was the same summer I got (big clunky) glasses, and also the summer that a lot of other childhood stuff went south. That was the first big hit to my self-esteem, and also very much a loss of control. For the first time, my physical self did not match what I looked like to myself. Very jarring.

To this day, my mother bugs me about my hair and how much better I look with short hair. Short hair is my mother's ideal of me.

My Hair and my Adolescence
I grew it back as soon as I could.

Here's something some of you may never have thought of: long hair can be used against you. In a fight, I mean. When you're trying to get away from the Bad Boyfriend. That hair is another thing to grab you by and control you with.

I'm just saying.

I cut my hair off again in high school.

My Hair and my Early Twenties
I grew it back as soon as I could.

Why, given all that? Because I love it long. Because the me in my head has long hair.

Because no one else should get to decide things about my body, and I should not have to look a way I don't want to look in order to defend myself better against a hypothetical attacker. Any more than I should stop walking home at night or stop wearing jeans that my ass looks good in or stop talking to strangers.

My Hair as an Act of Defiance
I will not look like my mother wants me to look; I will look how I want to look.
I will not structure my life around theoretical and futile "prevention" measures.
I will not let things that happened decades ago control me.
I will embrace my hair, even if it gets stuck under my purse strap and takes four hours to dry.
Because I love my hair long, and it is one of my favorite parts of me.

I have not cut my hair short since Elayna was an infant.

My Hair and my Boundaries
You probably do not get to touch my hair, and you need to be okay with that. Like I said in my earlier post, I'm not okay with people I'm not intimate with touching my hair. Partly because being surprised by anyone unexpectedly touching me in any way can be unpleasant. Partly because some ways in which people touch my hair can be erotic, and I'd really rather not get turned on in the coffeehouse, thanks.

Partly because it's my body and these are my boundaries and that's that. And if you think you have a right to get all grabbyhands on any part of a person that you find attractive, whether that's okay with the person or not - we've got a problem, y0.

My Hair and my Religion
Many conservative and Orthodox Jewish women cover their hair. I don't; I'm not that religious. Were I to call myself anything on the Jewish spectrum, I'd be reform.

But as someone who lives very publicly and feels the need to mark boundaries, the need to say "Yes, world, you have most of me, but this part I reserve" - there is something that appeals to me in my hair being reserved for my husband and others with whom I am intimate. Not even just sexually intimate. Emotionally intimate. Not just partners; very close friends. No, I don't cover it. I dye streaks of red into it, I let it flow, I show it off. But the touching is reserved.

So that is a little about me and my hair.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

Some things about baking

1. When I say "Max, I will feed you as soon as I'm done baking," he only hears as far as "Max, I will feed you."

2. Most commonly-used sentence when the oven door is open: "You really need to be ELSEWHERE right now." This sentence is good on the cat who insists on being underfoot because he distinctly heard you say you would feed him, the cat who wants to walk into the oven, and the kid who's running/skidding across the kitchen to grab some Halloween candy.

3. I dance. Well. Fairly constantly. But especially when baking.