October 8th, 2009


Thor's Day

Happy birthday to thryn!


She's still hangin' in. She's having some neck pain, so I'll be taking her to the doctor this afternoon.

I am just now having my first moments actually alone since that phone call, and I feel like curling up into a little ball. Which I will now proceed to do, actually. I am going back to bed. Will post more, including WTD (which I only have $15 for) later.

Wind Tunnel Dreams: Undertow

It was April who came to collect the novel from me. She curled up on the couch and read, twisting her deep red hair into complicated knots. “This is your best yet,” she said quietly when she’d finished. She tapped the pages into a semblance of order. “You’ve had that in you all along, huh?”

I smiled. “I guess so. It’s strange - it didn’t even feel like me writing. It almost felt-” I paused. “This is going to sound all new age and weird.”

“No, go ahead.”

“It felt like… like something was burning a channel through me. It wasn’t like making things up. It was like being connected to something, and letting it use me.”

She nodded slowly. “That sounds about right.”

“How so?”

She waved vaguely - at a print of Peter’s last series, and a painting on the opposite wall. “When gift turns to genius. It’s what Peter said. And Douglas. And… well, the rest of them.”

I sat beside her and squeezed her hand. “You do a wonderful thing here, you know that? Bringing people together. Agenting our stuff. I would never have gotten starting writing again if not for-”

“Her.” She squeezed my hand back and stood. “I know she’s your muse.”

She walked away before I could argue the point. Which was just as well, since she was mostly right. I had been consumed by my affair with Liana, and it was the fuel that kindled this novel. It showed in every page.


I could deal with my body being tired, but not my mind. I felt myself slowing down - a little at first, then more. It was the slowness of my mind that led me to confront the rest of it.

The doctor found nothing. No explanation for the fatigue that was increasing every day, becoming crippling. No explanation for the difficulty breathing, or the pain that suffused my body, haunted me. No explanation for the weakness and the slowness of thought. No answers. It seemed like my life was a flurry of doctor’s appointments and various tests, and I had no time for writing, so I stopped going. I was so close to something in my writing, some essential truth. I knew I could get there, if I just had time.


Liana was working on a new mannequin. She sang to herself from behind the shoji screen, and her music and movements found their way into my new story. I was writing about her, or for her.

She asked me to bring her a handful of broken glass; the glass lacerated my cupped hands, and I handed her glass tinted with blood. She met my eyes as I poured the glass into her waiting hand, and she smiled, she kissed me...

This kind of love leaves scars.

Part four of five; "Undertow" concludes tomorrow. Please tip if you like it.

Slept for not long enough. Woke up curled in a ball, my fist pressed so tight against my mouth that my teeth cut the inside of my cheek. Shower, then coffee, and pulling myself together before I go get Elayna from school. Yeah, she's probably fine walking... but this is her first full school day since the accident, so it's double the walking she's been doing, and there'll be some walking to get to the theater for Rifftrax tonight. (Meet us at the Regal Fenway!)
Elayna - Oct08

Project: Pringles

Hi! This is a guest post by Elayna.

First of all, thank you so much for all of your comments about the accident. I'm kind of achey, but much better than expected. Having staples in my head is weird!

So I'm back in school, and I have an awesome physics project. Even better - I asked my teacher if I could get help figuring this out, and he said yes. Which is great because half of my Facebook friends are smart adults! And Mom pointed out that she has lots of engineer friends, so we'll ask here too.

I have to mail five regular-sized Pringles, in the lightest package possible, to my physics teacher. Without breaking any of the chips.

The chips cannot be stacked. Any flavor is acceptable, but they can't be ridged or mini-Pringles. I cannot coat them with anything to make them stronger.

If they break coming out of the package (I'll be unpacking them in class), that counts as breaking in transit.

My idea is carving a piece of styrofoam (Mom recommends craft foam or florist foam instead) to make individual Pringle cradles. Top and bottom, like how electronics get packed, and sealing the top and bottom together with packing tape. But since I have permission to get help and advice, it seems silly to not to!

So! Engineers! What would you do?

Thank you so much!

-- Elayna

(PS from shadesong: If you are vehemently opposed to helping kids with homework, just scroll on by. But they were specifically told they could seek help. :) )

Hey locals!

I have two extra tickets to Rifftrax at the Regal Fenway, 7:30 tonight! $10/each. Who wants them?

(Elayna's glasses didn't come in, and her eyes get so strained without them! Adam's saying home with her.)