Repeat that about a zillion times in a shaky little-girl voice, and you get Adam's early afternoon.
Want to know about mine?
Two biiiig things of vaguely-banana-flavored barium (no lemonade! I stuck to my guns!). Another mixup - they had me down for abdomen and pelvis, sure, but no chest. I produced my paperwork and pointed out the little checked checkbox next to "chest" that matched the ones next to "abdomen" and "pelvis". They called the doctor's office. Et cetera
. The chest CT, it turns out, was denied. Oh, fuck it.
The distressing part started when they put the IV in - it was very uncomfortable. And I was cold, but I couldn't put my jacket on because, you know, IV. (In the crook of my elbow, not my hand.)
About half an hour after putting the IV in and pumping saline in - no, I'm not kidding; this is when they were trying to figure shit out with the doctor's office - they came and got me, had me pull my pants down, put me on the table-thingy, which has a name that I'm too tired to look up. And moved me in and out of the scanner a few times. The scanner is like a big doughnut, as told. If you watch House
, you've seen it, and all of you watch House
, right? You should all be watching House
. Misanthropic geniuses = teh sex.
Comes now the distressing part. I've had my arms over my head this whole time, which is... eh. It's a very vulnerable body position, which I don't like during stuff like this, purely psychologically. So I'm already feeling a bit queasy due to my belly actually being distended with the amount of barium I have in me, and being in that sort of physical position. So the guy comes in and asks how I'm doing, and I tell him I'm hanging in there, and he says okay, he's going to put the contrast in now, and he does.
And the next thing I know, I'm jerking my head away and biting my lower lip hard trying not to cry out because holy shit
I was expecting something like the MRI. The MRI, they told me that I might feel a burning as the contrast entered my system - and I felt a bit of sensation, but it was, as my grandmother would say, "nothin' with nothin'." So they told me the same thing today, and I said okay, and I felt prepared.
And this guy put the contrast in, and I felt like I was having a massive sciatica attack all through my arm, down my body. They told me I might have heat at the back of my throat? I was gagging on it. Had it in my *eyeballs*. They told me I might have it 'round my butt, my crotch... have you ever done that thing with the fresh-peeled ginger? I did - very briefly. Needed it removed ASAP.
There is no fucking safeword here
Just breathe. Breathe. Ride it out.
So. Distressing. And I kept repeating that. And maybe that's in part due to the fact that I felt prepared due to past experience, but so very WASN'T.
's on the phone, so I will go for now.
EDIT: And I napped all afternoon, so knocked out was I.docorion
asked what I was going to do for the rest of the evening; I told him I'd try to write, and go to bed early.
Him: "Looks like you're doing NaNoWriTwo
Me: "Yeah, but I gave myself permission to do that. Because -" dropping to sultry vampy voice - "I'm not like the other girls."
Him, laughing: "It's true, you're not. But also - you're going through a diagnostic workup. There's a reason they call it that. It's work
ALSO EDIT: Re: contrast reaction: The guy claimed that it had a stronger-than-usual effect on me because I have tiny veins. o_O Doctors - is that a sense-making thing?