November 14th, 2005



Happy birthday to kyburg!

Hello to new reader ddislala!

Exhaustion + nausea + feeling a bit vague.
CT scan at 11:30. Better be. I'm bringing my own Crystal Light this time.

A Feast For Crows
Finished it! My vacation in Westeros is over.

Hm. A pride of Lannisters, a pack of Starks... an embarrassment of Freys?

This book did not have my favorite character in it, to which I say grr.

My brain is weirding, and so I go.
I'm blogging this

Interesting article...

...The ones that fascinate me the most are those that get at what is a continuing debate across the blogosphere: that is, what the obligations of a blog owner are regarding his or her commenters, the commenters' obligations in turn, and in particular these obligations with regards to blog content and banning policies.

On the one extreme of the spectrum are those who believe simultaneously that (a) blogs should not post anything that might offend them, even if they are only visiting a given blog on a first-time fly-by and (b) that anything should be allowed in the comment threads, up to and including insulting the blog owner and his or her other commenters. I call this the "The World Exists to Serve Me" contingent.

On the other extreme are those who believe that (a) blog owners can say whatever the hell they want, however they want, and if the people visiting the blog don't like it, they can go away (common rallying cry, "No one's making you read this blog") and (b) blog owners can do whatever they want with regards to their comments threads -- ban randomly, edit comments according to their own whims, refuse to have any comments, ban people who disagree with them, etc. I call this "It's My Blog and I Can Do What I Want" crowd.

Personally, I lean more toward the latter than the former, in that I don't give a rat's what some random stranger thinks about my blog, I dislike intensely the arrogance involved in telling other people how to blog, and I see no reason to spend my money to host comments that are insulting and unhelpful, or to provide a forum for jerks.

In practice, though, I think most people who blog (and who comment) fall in the reasonable middle, trying not to be deliberately offensive in their choice of topics and writing style and word choice (or, alternately, warning people up front about what to expect at a given blog), and allowing reasonable debate to occur in their comments threads, if said debate is constructive and respectful, at least according to the culture of that particular blog.

It's that last part that gets tricky: according to the culture of that particular blog....

Lots more there. Worth a read - worth more of a read that I can give it right now, actually. But especially as someone who's been attacked not-infrequently by that former contingent, I find this interesting and worthy of exploration.
  • Current Mood
    pensive interested
Fizzgig! - velvetsteel


So. Hungry.

Cannot eat til after CT scan.

My mantra for the day?

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...

I deserve a break today.
  • Current Mood
    hungry hungry
Katchoo - Terry Moore

"That was really distressing."

Repeat that about a zillion times in a shaky little-girl voice, and you get Adam's early afternoon.

Want to know about mine?

Two biiiig things of vaguely-banana-flavored barium (no lemonade! I stuck to my guns!). Another mixup - they had me down for abdomen and pelvis, sure, but no chest. I produced my paperwork and pointed out the little checked checkbox next to "chest" that matched the ones next to "abdomen" and "pelvis". They called the doctor's office. Et cetera. The chest CT, it turns out, was denied. Oh, fuck it.

The distressing part started when they put the IV in - it was very uncomfortable. And I was cold, but I couldn't put my jacket on because, you know, IV. (In the crook of my elbow, not my hand.)

About half an hour after putting the IV in and pumping saline in - no, I'm not kidding; this is when they were trying to figure shit out with the doctor's office - they came and got me, had me pull my pants down, put me on the table-thingy, which has a name that I'm too tired to look up. And moved me in and out of the scanner a few times. The scanner is like a big doughnut, as told. If you watch House, you've seen it, and all of you watch House, right? You should all be watching House. Misanthropic geniuses = teh sex.

Comes now the distressing part. I've had my arms over my head this whole time, which is... eh. It's a very vulnerable body position, which I don't like during stuff like this, purely psychologically. So I'm already feeling a bit queasy due to my belly actually being distended with the amount of barium I have in me, and being in that sort of physical position. So the guy comes in and asks how I'm doing, and I tell him I'm hanging in there, and he says okay, he's going to put the contrast in now, and he does.

And the next thing I know, I'm jerking my head away and biting my lower lip hard trying not to cry out because holy shit.

I was expecting something like the MRI. The MRI, they told me that I might feel a burning as the contrast entered my system - and I felt a bit of sensation, but it was, as my grandmother would say, "nothin' with nothin'." So they told me the same thing today, and I said okay, and I felt prepared.

And this guy put the contrast in, and I felt like I was having a massive sciatica attack all through my arm, down my body. They told me I might have heat at the back of my throat? I was gagging on it. Had it in my *eyeballs*. They told me I might have it 'round my butt, my crotch... have you ever done that thing with the fresh-peeled ginger? I did - very briefly. Needed it removed ASAP.

There is no fucking safeword here.

Just breathe. Breathe. Ride it out.

So. Distressing. And I kept repeating that. And maybe that's in part due to the fact that I felt prepared due to past experience, but so very WASN'T.

And docorion's on the phone, so I will go for now.

EDIT: And I napped all afternoon, so knocked out was I.

docorion asked what I was going to do for the rest of the evening; I told him I'd try to write, and go to bed early.

Him: "Looks like you're doing NaNoWriTwoMo..."
Me: "Yeah, but I gave myself permission to do that. Because -" dropping to sultry vampy voice - "I'm not like the other girls."
Him, laughing: "It's true, you're not. But also - you're going through a diagnostic workup. There's a reason they call it that. It's work."

ALSO EDIT: Re: contrast reaction: The guy claimed that it had a stronger-than-usual effect on me because I have tiny veins. o_O Doctors - is that a sense-making thing?
  • Current Mood
    distressed distressed

Lo, I have been tagged!

By strangestgirl. And since it's a song-meme, I'll do it.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LJ along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Writing the piece about Nisar the other night, I had Queen's "Who Wants To Live Forever" in my head and then on repeat on iTunes. It's one of the songs I associate most with early Shayara. "Who dares to love forever..."

2. Jane Siberry, "Temple" - because my Spooky gifted me with it. :)

3. Dandy Warhols vs. Beastie Boys, "Intergalactic Friends", just because it's so damn fun to dance to.

4. The Killers, "Mr. Brightside" - it's Napalm's song. Napalm has other songs that he likes to listen to, but this one is him.

5. Suzanne Vega, "Blood Makes Noise". And this is one of Lyric's.

6. Great Big Sea, "Donkey Riding". Hear this one once, and it'll be in your head for weeks. Way, hey, and away we go....

7. Nine Inch Nails, "The Hand That Feeds" - an Alanna song.

I tag everyone who wants to be tagged, and no oone who doesn't. *decisive nod*