October 25th, 2005

Hearth

Tew's Day

Administration
Happy birthday to shrijani!

Hello to new readers atala, chris_walsh, and drwex!

Medical
Exhaustion + nausea. (Stayed home yesterday because of the exhaustion; slept til 11:30!) Mild wordfuckery and slurring of words.

Baby, it's cold outside!
First sweater day of the year!

Far behind
I owe many Important People e-mails; mea maxima culpa. I will get to that today.

Hey, let's start now! *nod*
Capri - xanadumalion

Arisia

Holy crap, if I speak on all the panels I'm interested in, I will not have time for anything but speaking on panels. *head spins*

For those who're interested: Yes, the panel on BDSM and Geekdom is included, and yes, I will be preparing visual aids.

FYI: The ones I'm most interested in: The LiveJournal ones, of course, if only because half of my Arisia-friends were looking for me at them last year, and a few of the comics ones. Some of the literature ones, too. Mmm. A lot. Aaagh.
Hearth

(no subject)

shades_of_nyx says: My Spice and I have had discussions of the fact that they often feel like I'm cheating on them with another person named PAIN who they didn't get to meet first, have any input about, or veto...Chronic pain or illness is like a whole nother relationship.

There will be an entry re: my feelings on this soon. I'm putting this here as a note-to-self. Short version: I very much agree.
Some things can't be fixed

(no subject)

Right, then.

Having a disability, having chronic pain, chronic illness, is like having a whole 'nother relationship. A really bad one. *wry smile*

The disability - and that's how I'll refer to it throughout - monopolizes your time and energy. You end up having to give more time and energy to the disability than to any other individual partner - some days, more to the disability than to all partners combined.

It throws temper tantrums. It demands that you change plans with your other partners at the last minute: "Oh, you thought tonight was your date night, huh? Tough shit. It's mine."

It does not respect your safeword! It is not safe, sane, or consensual! *laugh*

You end up spending huge chunks of your day, your week, month, year, just "working on your relationship" with your disability. Trying different medications, different patterns of rest or exercise.

And there's nothing your other partner(s) can do about this, really. They can fetch heat or ice packs for pain flares. They can carry you to bed when your meds steal the ability to walk in a straight line. But they do not have veto power over the disability.

It is an abusive partner, and it cannot be negotiated with.

More later. Time for wee Shadesongs to nap. I welcome your thoughts and additions.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
  • Tags
Writing - XanaDuMalion

Ack.

What's difficult about the week before NaNoWriMo is that as soon as my head touches the pillow, my writerbrain gets to work; I know exactly how to begin, I know the moment we start with, I know the look in Alanna's eyes, and I want to run downstairs and write....

And I can't, because I can't start til November 1.

*throws things*

Actually, hey, maybe getting built up, stoppered up, like this is part of the process. Helps with the whole exploding-out-of-the-gate thing. I don't know. I've never successfully done NaNo. I had big trauma on November 2 the year I tried, and it derailed me.

So.

*sit*