June 10th, 2005

Hearth

Friday!

Medical
Exhaustion + nausea... vision bad. Which extra-sucks, as I was trying to read haikujaguar's book in the car! Coordination also off. Whee.

Yesterday
I am glad to see that many of you agree with me re: Garden State. *nod* And the hair thing. Glad I'm not making a mountain out of a molehill on that... honestly, I never really know. I lack cultural touchstones; I lack the ability to gauge.

Some interesting stuff came out of the schtupping post. That should be discussed.

Shayara
Wow. A lot of you want Shooting Star #6. I will e-mail my editor and see how many copies he can get me - if we can't meet demand, it'll have to be first-come, first-served. I hope we can meet demand, though. I like sharing this stuff with you. Hell, I want to just post it all online as say "Look! Look! See what we did? Is it not nifty!" But, y'know, professional work, gotta pay.

I'm still kinda bemused by the fact that Shayara can actually get out to people, that people will pay to read the little world in my head. Growing up, you kinda think that's for other people. But I can actually do this.

Wearing
Black T-shirt, Beaker panties, jeans, skeleton socks, Docs.

Reading
Even the Wingless, by haikujaguar. Yay. :) I have the luck to have some amazingly talented friends. :) You'll be glad to know that theferrett's skill with nonfiction extends to fiction, and bitsyboo's Burning Florence also rocked my world. Not to mention catvalente's fever-dreams of books. Yay. :)

Planning
Lunch with vanuslux; lupaloo's birthday party tomorrow.

You?
Feral - PhotoGnome

Comics vs. Novels

Do I write in comic form not simply to present my work more like a movie, but to limit my audience - much like I keep my hair long partly so I can hide my face?

I'm shy in ALL ways. I know many don't believe it. But it's true.
Writing - XanaDuMalion

Pretty Girls

So I was talking to docorion the other day about The Continued Girlification of the Shadesong. He has instructed me to wear a skirt at least once a week; he prefers short skirts. I'm very resistant to short skirts. So it is okay for now that I wear *long* skirts instead of short when I'm outside the house, and just wear the short skirts with him, until I am okay with wearing the short skirts outside the house. He doesn't push; he lets me take my time with difficult things.

So we were talking about skirts, and how he wants me to be all girly - and to show my legs and stuff. He told me I have great legs. Well, I do like my calves. And he told me I was so pretty.

And what fell out of my mouth was this: "Bad things happen to pretty girls."

Such is my comfort level with him - I have no walls, no filters. Direct route from subconscious to mouth.

"Bad things happen to pretty girls."

That's what's hardwired in me. And it's something that I was reminded of yesterday, when wakingdreaming said that my long hair overwhelmed my features - that I have nice features and should show them. What came out then was a joking "I like to hide." But that comes from the same place. Bad things happen to pretty girls - safety comes in not being a pretty girl. So. Hide the features. (I had contacts for about a month in 9th grade. Threw 'em away.) Hide the girl-ness. How many of y'all have seen me in anything other than jeans and a T-shirt, with Merrells or Doc Martens?

One thing about being obsessed with mapping my brain, at least, is that I know exactly where these things come from.

That's got to be worked on.

EDIT: I am okay, not depressed or anything - just musing. Lack of response to comments is due only to an impending long-lunch-date.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
Chai-Hulud - feliciaelena

(no subject)

Okay so...

1. My body is too tired to nap. My body is the tired that fidgets along the edge of sleep.
2. Because my body is so tired, I can't get anything done around the house, physically. My muscles give out. My legs, they drag.

I know that, if I napped, my body would be refreshed enough to get stuff done.

But my body refuses to settle down and nap.

This is, how you say, frustrating.

Doubly so because I'm too tired to concentrate on anything. So reading and writing are not options.

Stupid body. Hulk smash.

EDIT: BTW? This has been this way all week.
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted