May 20th, 2005



Although it feels like Monday, because I wasn't in the office yesterday...

Happy birthday to tamnonlinear!

Exhaustion + nausea, but fairly mild today; also mild coordination issues. EDIT: Ach. Bad-ish meds day.

Today is a staff appreciation day. We have a run/walk, a climbing wall, free lunch, other stuff. Read: effectively only a half-day of work. Nice. :) I'm doing the walk, I'm eating, I'm probably doing to climbing wall just to practice being in the air because Miss Kid wants me to do the pirate bungee thing at the RenFaire next weekend. Then I go home. Or, rather, to the School Box to get a history packet or two.

Thin black polo tee with cherries on it, jeans, Docs.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. II. Next up is Crache by Mark Budz, I b'lieve.

Geez, I dunno. It's a free weekend. I'm definitely watching Muppet Wizard of Oz tonight!

No, I have not seen Episode III yet; yes, I plan to, but maybe some evening next week. I'm too old and decrepit to battle crowds, just as I'm too old and decrepit to go to midnight showings.

  • Current Music
    "Jamaica Inn", Tori Amos
Writing - photo


Wanna write. But cannot, as am at work.

My brain just figured out a way to make something I'd excised when I revamped Shayara, but really liked, work and work perfectly.

*taps foot*
  • Current Mood
    aggravated impatient
Boondock/can't believe

(no subject)

Well, the run/walk seemed like a good idea at the time.

Until the sky OPENED THE FUCK UP.

Seriously. Clear sunny day ---> light drizzle ---> APOCALYPTIC STORM.

It poured. It pounded.

There was HAIL.

This happened right after the walk concluded, actually. So I have not yet received my prize (4th overall, 2nd woman, either 1st or 2nd woman in my age group, I don't know. Yes, I walk fast.)

It's quite a ways from the park to the library, where Adam was waiting for me.

I didn't just get drenched. I got SATURATED. The sound I was making as I walked into the house was along the lines of *splorch*.

I showed my boss (had to go back to the office to get my purse). My department chair was in there with her, and he started laughing as I spread my arms, the sodden fabric of my shirt dripping, and said "Permission requested to skip the rest of the staff appreciation thingie and go home and shower so's not to catch pneumonia?"

The department chair actually ran a finger across my jeans and shook his head in disbelief. I was in giggles-of-disbelief mode by then.

It had stopped raining by the time I got out of the building. I brought the cardigan I wear when it's sub-arctic in the office along to protect the contents of my purse - ended up using it to sit on. It was soaked through by the time we got home. Which only took about 7-10 minutes.

SPLORCH, y'all.

  • Current Mood
    exhausted splorch.

(no subject)

Remember the old Marvel Star Wars comics? The ones with Han Solo and his band of mercenaries?

If so, you're not the only one. If not, read this anyway. :)

Jaxxon's 11.

Trust me. :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Writing - photo


I think that half the reason I'm so difficult in relationships is that I feel the need to be 100% honest - and do so in part by shoving all of the harsh and difficult parts of me to the front.

"See this. Look at this. This is what you're getting into. This is what you are signing on for. Be aware of what you are signing on for."

Because if they can't handle the worst of me, they should back out now, before anyone gets hurt.

My brain is weird, but has internal logic.

Abandonment complex much? Yeah.

But if you can handle me at my most difficult, if you love me when I'm rough and bitchy and depressed and angry and sick - sick all the damn time, though that isn't something I can control - then I know you'll stay.

And I have flares of this. Spikes at random points.

I need to work on not frontloading it so hard.

But I want to be honest, and you need to know what you're signing on for.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
Boondock/can't believe

News from my nap

In my dream, I was reading my friendspage, except it was in a different style. And I'd just reached a post by robyn_ma, a post about a dream she'd had (meta!), and in her dream there were some really fucked-up beauty supplies, but in her dream, they were normal Origins products, and she was mentioning how odd it was that something made from bats was a normal skincare product in her dream. And she had a poll in her dream that included bizarre Origins products from her dream.

But before I could look at the poll, docorion hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek and told me to finish unpacking (we were in a hotel).

In my suitcase, I had a dark teal raw-silk top, which I was surprised to see because I seemed to remember the store only having had it in size medium. And I had a pair of charcoal slacks that *fit* me.

And then I woke up.

I want that outfit.

And I want robyn_ma to post that poll.

EDIT: And she did!
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

Picture pages

I dumped my old webhost pretty hard because of excessive fucking-over.... and accidentally forgot to save pictures from the site. So, um, oops. I'm scavenging them from places like my appearance as partywhipple's Cutie of the Day, and I did have some of them on my hard drive, but this is all somewhat hampered by the fact that photognome's fotki appears to be on the blink, and that's where the originals of all of my posed-type pics are.

So anyway. Fixing formerly-blanked posts as I can. And will likely be uploading new stuff over the weekend or maybe even tonight as my moody and energy permit. I'm oddly obsessive and introverted right now, so I can see this being a holed-up-in-the-basement kind of night.
Feral - PhotoGnome

The continuing adventures of Posty McPostalot = really fucking slow when asked to upload 10 pics at a time. FYI.

I feel sludgy. My stomach is rebelling. It wants no more pizza, no more cookies - it wants no more shoveling-in of high-calorie foods. The stomach is reminding me that pizza is greasy and Oreos have lard, and can't I just have some nice carrot sticks? And I remind the stomach that the horrible food will continue until I get back over 90 pounds at the very least.

I hate it that I've been forcefeeding myself so much and for so long that pizza + Oreos = horrible food. My body is just sick of this. My body is sick of the gorging.

I am sick of being sick. So sick of being sick. And I'm sick of that being all I'm able to talk about. Trust me. It is pretty all-consuming. And almost everything in my life that doesn't tie into the thing I'm not allowed to talk about ties into being sick. So that ends up being all I can talk about. still waiting.

I'm in a Mood tonight. Typing tonight is my equivalent of drunk dialing. I'm tempted to pull an all-nighter just to see what comes out of my brain. - failed, never found socket. Trying again.

I won't pull an all-nighter, of course, because my body is too tired. Weak, wobbly. What I will do is hopefully get these pics and the next set uploaded soon, and then go watch Muppets Wizard of Oz, and then go to bed like a good girl. still not going....