January 30th, 2005


Poly terminology

I have a problem with the word "sweetie".

Not a "problem", per se. Just - it's maddeningly nonspecific. And, being a writer, I have a Need to firmly categorize everything.

I was recently told that I "already have a couple-three sweeties", and eek, that's been working at me! *laugh* Because, although they are all sweet, and I have called all of them "sweetie" and "honey" at various points, that's not how they're categorized in my head. Just. Too. Vague.

yendi is my partner. My husband. Part of me.

volta is something else entirely, but "sweetie" doesn't fit.

Doesn't fit with kires, either - less than with the other two, because kires and I don't have a romantic Relationship. (I was surprised when the person said three; then I realized oh! Kires! It took me a second.) I believe the appropriate acronym for Kires is ToCoToX - Too Complicated To EXplain. Is love. But very different. Good-friend-love. But more than friends-with-benefits, and less than a romantic couple. TOCOTOX!

I have Something with each of them, and that something is vital. But "sweetie" doesn't fit.

I've gotten to the point where I'm okay with just, say, Kires being Kires and not needing anything more specific to label him in my head.

I have someone "new" in my world - I say "new" because it's no great surprise to me. :) And I'm in the beginning stages of trying to categorize. *laugh* But I'm pretty laid back about that, this time.
Writing - XanaDuMalion

(no subject)

You didn't expect to see him here at Need. Kieran, sure. Others of the Kirayth, sure. Plenty of them go clubbing.

But not him.

He's always intimidating, but this is different.

Look at him:

Head tipped back against the wall, triple-bound ponytail over one leather-clad shoulder. Lights flashing against him, illuminating his tensed and bearded jawline. Eyes closed as he whispers along with the song:

And if you go,
furious angels
will bring you back to me
bring you back to me

His thumb strokes the glass of whiskey, but that seems subconscious.

You can tell that he's not really here.

You can tell that this is a sort of communion for him.

(no subject)

I came downstairs to write my next 2HC column (mining your Arisia experience, lbitw)... but my mind is in Shayara today. (Sorry, Monkey...)

And I cannot find the bit I wrote about Kieran and Telenias last week. Which is driving me crazy, because I liked it quite a lot, and now I need to rewrite it. Aargh.

My headspace is weird. I don't have story running through my head. I have images. I see Fenris, eyes closed, remembering. I see the Telenias, finding solace in the wielding of his riding crop. I see Alanna, wrist bandaged, staring out her window. I look at them, and I love them so much that all I can say is that I love them.

I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me.

GYAH! I have to find the Telenias piece. Because it has Kieran finding beauty and, finally, familiarity... the Telenias is so aloof, and this is really the first time that Kieran sees him take pleasure in something, do something that isn't His Sacred Duty.

And also has the perfect explanation of why he'll never schtup Capri.

EDIT: I'm very edgy today. And very aware that I owe people a wee piece of a Shayara story for the February mock-calendar page, and I still don't know who the calendar girl/boy/group will be... was going to do Julia, but now I'm thinking I ought to do something with a Valentine theme. Can't do Capri and Halloran, though, because they're promised for April, not February.

Very aware that I haven't been writing enough lately. Not enough for my peace of mind, anyway.

Unrelated: I have a shitload of filing to do today, and I don't wanna. :)

(no subject)

I need an new icon, one of me with my glasses. I like my default icon, but there's always the tiny bit of dissonance there because, well, I am always wearing my glasses otherwise. And I have the one icon of me looking over my shoulder, but that's when my hair was twice as long and red. And yes, I'm growing it out again, but no, I don't know if I'm dying it again; it got pretty damaged last time. The black-and-white icons are more accurate on hair length and color. Well, what you can tell of the color, being as it's black and white. I think you can tell that my hair is sort of tortoiseshell in this icon. But you can't really see the curly-wavy-ness, because it was late in the shoot, and I'd been pulling my hair all over the place for over an hour at that point.

photognome and I agree that I need another photo shoot with him. (Anytime, 'gnome!)