September 20th, 2004

Hearth

Monday Monday

Administration
Hello to new reader bitch_fester!

Doctor Update
So! Went to the regular doc on Friday.

My scale is wrong! I'm the same weight! W00t! (Except now I'm going back on the Lamictal which is going to make me lose weight again...)

I cannot go to a nutritionist. Because my insurance only covers a nutritionist if the patient is diabetic.

She is able to fill out short-term disability paperwork - but she feels it'd be better if the neurologist did it, simply because they'd have more detailed information. I agree, of course; I asked because with an HMO, usually everything has to go through your primary care doctor. Apparently this does not. Cool.

I like this doctor. Because I had a 4:00 appointment. And I was out of there, with all of my concerns addressed and without being rushed, by 4:30.

Weekend
This was exactly what I needed. Well, almost, but I'll do another post about the follies of this weekend. :) But kires is such a calming influence... I think the stress really exacerbates the agitation/mania stuff, and this was stress-free, and there was much touch-comfort. I was mostly side effect free. There was brainslippage that I mostly fought off. Minimal. And the equilibrium issues that I had when I was ramping up on the Lamictal are back. But mostly side effect free. Cooool.

*squee!*
Flogging Molly! This Thursday! Yay!

Weather Report
It's COLD today!
Hearth

Trying to be better....

...about photos... kires gave me a hard time this weekend about hating pictures of myself. I don't photograph well. So some of these are unflattering, but that is not the fault of the photographer (morenasangre).

These are from DisneyWorld... when? I don't know. 1999? 2000? I first met yendi in person in late '98, and I didn't meet morenasangre and farren til after that, and there was another Tamson-House person with us and my revolting ex-husband is not with us, so it wasn't our first time meeting morenasangre and farren...

Anyway. Something like that. A while ago. Early 'song/Yendi!

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  • Current Mood
    embarrassed embarrassed
Writing - photo

Writingishness

* Got to writing at the airport on the way down. Intended to write Shayara-character porn... I don't want to contaminate placesyouhaunt with PornStuff, and I was all worked up on Friday... so I was going to write Capri/Kieran, but instead I wrote about Kieran talking to Ryan about Capri, and that turned into Ryan remembering his first meeting with Michael, when he was brand-new to the city, and that turned into Ryan's perspective on the Purges, which turned out to be very interesting, at least to me. 25 blank-book pages.

* Went home for lunch today, wrote more placesyouhaunt. Sans porn.

* If you want into that journal, you gotta tell me who you are, okay?
Elayna! - Karlita

My Girl

I am very, very proud of Elayna right now.

This afternoon started out fairly crappily - she'd forgotten her stuff in her classroom. Again. She has a real problem with forgetfulness - lost three or four jeans jackets last year. Keeps losing (but mostly re-finding) books.

So she lost her TV time. Because not only have we Talked About This, but her homework is to read for half an hour and write about what they've read - Elayna said her teacher hadn't given them any other homework today - and the book he's reading is in that classroom. No homework done = no TV.

So she goes all stompy-stomp off to her room.

About half an hour later, I knocked on her door, went in to talk to her. Laid down on the bed behind her and said, "I think that you're disappointed in yourself when you forget things, and that's why you get so angry."

Floodgates. Open. Fwoom. "I feel so stupid!"

"You're NOT stupid. You just have a hard time remembering stuff. So do I. So I just have to try extra hard to remember."

"I DID try extra hard! Because I found [book lost last week], and I promised myself I wouldn't leave anything behind today, because I wanted to show you that I found the book..."

Ach.

So we talked, we went over that. Reassuring her that she is NOT STUPID. That moving up to fourth grade can be stressy. And she says, "I feel like I'm in high school! Because I keep moving around and I'm not in my classroom enough."

Hm. Well. Here we have it. "Why are you moving around? Where are you going?"

"Discovery, and math & science, and gardening and drama club, and band..."

"Okay. The reason you're getting moved around in math & science is to give your teacher more time with you, because she doesn't feel she has enough classroom time with you. Gardening and drama are both after-school-only, right?"

"Right."

"Band is every day now, right?"

"Right."

"Okay. Well. What do you think about stopping band?"

And she bursts into tears. "I don't know!" she wails.

"Okay... from your reaction, I think you've already thought about this."

"Yes. But I don't know!"

"That's okay. You don't have to decide tonight. But listen - third grade to fourth grade is a HUGE transition. And I am *really* proud of you right now... because you knew something was wrong, you figured out what it was, and you've been thinking about how to fix it. That is very smart and very mature of you."

Not every kid her age can do that - assess a stressful situation, determine the cause, and examine alternatives. That's huge, in my book, that she's processing like that. Why is she stressed? Not enough time in class. What can be done about that. Prioritize - Discovery (gifted program) ranks above Band in her mind.

I think the only things that have kept her from discussing this with us before now are that she's worried that we'd be disappointed, and that she doesn't want to be a "quitter". But I assured her that it's very mature to realize that she's taking on too much and to take steps to give herself the best and most appropriate school environment possible.

Since she's not ready to just step up and say "no band", I suggested that she take a week off. She worried that she wouldn't be allowed to do that. I told her to tell them to call me if they had a problem with it. And I can send in a note.

Also that I can ask for a meeting with her teacher, so that all four of us - Yendi and I, her teacher, and, of course, her - can sit down together and figure out how best to modify her schedule so that all of her needs get met. This is a teacher who gives out her home phone number and just asks that parents not call her after ten, and says that sometimes she's out on Sunday. I do not think that arranging a daytime weekday conference would be problematic... she does seem to be honest when she says she's available anytime, and she truly does seem to love these kids. So that's four people who truly want the best for her, and we want to make that happen.

I can't even begin to express how proud of her I am. She's nine years old, man. And she was able to identify and take steps to solve the problem.

She's got mad skillz.

So yeah - I think no band, at least for now; I told her she can choose to get re-involved next year or later this year if she decides that she wants to do that and can handle it.

And I think it helped her immensely to hear the idea from me. This poor kid has been explodey over this, it seems. And I don't know when she'd've figured out how to talk to me about it. I knew there was *something* eating at her...

But she was the one who figured out what, and how to fix it.

I'm all misty-eyed. My smart and self-aware girl.