August 17th, 2004



* Happy birthday to mysterg!

* I was so damn exhausted last night... fell asleep on the couch at 10-ish. yendi packed me off to bed at 10:30. Wanted to watch 'lympics. *pout* But we have it on TiVo.

* Olympics coverage continues to piss me off. Y'know, I'm a fan of some of these sports. I'd like to be able to see all of the athletes. Instead of having NBC focus on like 5 people.

* We have a Gwyn sleeping on our couch. If she managed to sleep through Elayna's morning... stuff.

* Mom: "Do you have your plane tickets for the wedding?"
Me: "Not yet. Need to wait for yendi's paycheck."
Mom: "His mom isn't buying them?"
Me: "No. I mean, she's paying for the whole rest of the wedding."
Mom: "Okay, we'll buy them for you."

All righty then.

My parents are paying some stuff, but his mom is paying the bulk of it; she didn't offer to buy us plane tickets, and I was NOT going to ask. Wasn't going to ask *my* mom, either. But yeah. This is good.

She was against me buying the iPod. "Why can't you just wait til Chanukah?" She cannot understand the music thing with me. Cannot.

* Had a hard time getting up this morning. Just exhausted.

* A warning for everyone who has to deal with me - tonight I go up another 250mg on the new stuff, the Keppra. Wednesday should be terribly exciting.

Okay. That is all for now.
Writing - photo


I have recently been told, with regards to my writing, that I have It.

I don't really know what It is. I don't feel like I have It. I have this world in my head, but I never know how well I'm communicating it.

I'm proud of some of the stuff I turn out; I particularly like the Julia and Katrianna sections of the Four Sisters story that the Blog-A-Thon sponsors got. Among other stuff.

But I'm really inconsistent. I'm not as pleased with the stuff that I *push*; the stuff I'm proud of is mostly stuff that just fell out of my brain all in one piece.

I worry that my writing is too spare, too terse. cissa says that that's a good thing, so I'm turning that over in my head.

My style is not sonnet; it's haiku.

I've felt like that could be a Bad Thing, that I'm not descriptive enough, not evocative enough; that my work will be too short - but when I try to extend things beyond their natural flow, it simply doesn't work. Forcing it too much.

I have only recently become aware that I have a "writing style" - the spareness, the clippedness; haikujaguar said it was "punky and romantic".

I don't sound like anyone else. Which is a Good Thing, but makes it difficult for me to gauge.

I'm shy. Sharing my writing is a New Thing, as of LJ. This has only fairly recently gone from me scribbling along in my room to me tentatively showing people.

Which also explains why I'm terrified to submit stories to publishers! Do I have It? I don't know. But this is new. Must plug along.

I've only newly really realized that short stories are just as valid for my world-building as novels - look at the example of Charles de Lint and Newford! Short-form. Less worrying.

Aaaaand this is just me noodling around. Being all meta and stuff.

Capri - xanadumalion

*curses lack of skillz*

If I could draw, I'd draw Jessa and Fenris right now, back when Fenris was Seth, before they broke up. I'd draw him holding her from behind, him in faded jeans, leather jacket; her in a long swirly dress and sandals. Her summer-gold hair mixing with his auburn.

Imagine them smiling. Her features are typical Tamrani, like Julia's... but you haven't seen Julia happy, not yet. Imagine her relaxed and happy, as her daughter is in this icon.

Imagine Fenris as Seth - before Jessa's love for Marcus led to him hardening his heart, before he formed the Kirayth, before he found Jessa's body... One bullet would have been enough to kill her. They'd wanted to make her suffer.

Imagine young Seth and Jessamyn, longtime best friends and newly lovers.

I wish I would draw.
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated


I am so totally in a porn-writing mood.

I shall engage in writing of porn at lunch.

*watches clock*

EDIT: Okay, I officially declare today International Porn Day. Read it, write it, watch it, make it - and if it's good, share it with me.

You have your instructions. *decisive nod*
Dark Phoenix

Dude. The fuck?

  • Current Mood
    irate irate

Three things

* I did not get to write porn at lunch today - but that was because I went to lunch with yendi and gwynraven. At JavaMonkey. So I view that as an acceptable tradeoff. Maybe later.

* I'm insanely curious as to which of my characters people would want to see porn about. I know deyaniera's dying for Fenris/Donna - and damn you, woman, I Went There a little because of you - but I'm curious whether anyone else has anything in mind. I'm not sayin' I'm going to write it, or post it if I do. I'm just curious like that.

* If you add yendi, comment to let him know. Because he goes nuts wondering who added him if his numbers go up. I mean, same for me. But he's been bitching about it, so! PSA. Also, I think you should all go add him because he is all smart and funny and cute and stuff. :)


And that makes twice today that I've had to call someone and say, "Um, the info you e-mailed me and the info on your website? Totally contradictory."

And had the person essentially say "Oh shit!" and thank me profusely for catching it before the students get here.

You're welcome. :)
  • Current Mood
    accomplished chuffed
Elayna! - Karlita

Pretty like you

So yesterday, I'm at the Cancer Institute -

That's a gripe right there. Would it be possible for them to please offer mammography at a place that's not called the frickin' Cancer Institute? I mean, seriously.

Anyway. I'm there, I'm getting my boobs smushed, and the tech and I are chatting, and I mention Elayna.

"Oh - is she pretty like you?"

I do not think that I am attractive in the slightest, but this was not the time for a discussion of that nature, so I just said, "She's much prettier." Because, y'know, she is.

"Oh, the pretty ones always have it so much easier."

And she goes on. Apparently her daughter is "a little chubby" and has a hard time of it. And apparently pretty girls just have an easier time in general, everyone's disposed favorably toward them and whatnot...

EDIT: The chubby = not pretty thing was all her. I do not agree with that. /EDIT

It rubbed me the wrong way. (And no, it wasn't just the tit-squishing, though that wasn't particularly fun either.)

She didn't mean anything by it. That much was obvious. There was no bitterness there, no rancor. She seems like a very nice woman.

I guess it just rubs me wrong that there could be an assumption that, because she's pretty, my daughter isn't earning what she gets. That she has an edge over other people just by something physical and arbitrary. That her dimples could trump someone else's hard work.

That just makes me really uneasy. Still trying to get words for that. I'll likely revisit it when I'm less exhausted.