May 10th, 2004


Happy Monday

Happy birthday to crisavec, gaelfling, goblindegook, mendoza, and minsies!

Must... Control... Fist... of... Death...
I hate commencement with the fire of a thousand suns. Seriously. I hate people - and come commencement, the campus is just riddled with them. Like swarming cockroaches. Update
The webmail went down again yesterday. It's back today - still with none of my saved stuff, but I can receive new stuff at the moment. Just in case, don't e-mail me there; use shadesong AT, which is currently going to a different e-mail address.

raptorgirl! Please send your flight info to that address. That was one of the more pressing bits of information that I've lost.

Night before last, I dreamed that I was at a party and suddenly came face-to-face with someone who... well, it's pretty much up to me whether the person is going to continue to be my friend. Which is a position of power that I'm not necessarily comfortable with.

I woke up before I decided whether I should hug him hello.

I need to relax and breathe. I need to stop decorating and planning the move in my mind. I definitely need to start going through our mounds of Stuff and making piles to give away, keep, or throw away. That's a good thing to do whether or not we're moving.

State of the 'song
Tiiiired. Also severely headachey. I go now in search of Excedrin.


(no subject)

So I'll just change direction
'Cause he'll soon know where I live...
And I wanna live
Got a full tank, and some chips...
  • Current Music
    Tori Amos, Me and a Gun

*apprehensive look*

Okay, that's three people so far who've mentioned it. Who else is feeling this big calm-before-the-storm foreboding?

haikujaguar's calling it "Waiting-in-Stasis for Large News." Another description from my perspective: Tornado warning, when the sky goes graygreen and the eerie stillness hits.

Are you having that big foreboding feeling?

  • Current Mood
    determined Hm.


Currently working on stuff regarding Julia trying to acclimate herself to Shayara, and frustrating the hell out of Kieran in the process. It's exasperating to write this particular time, because she's so damn belligerent.

She's much like me in this: she's a total outsider, completely unsocialized. Raised in a really unhealthy foster home til she was 12, then lived on the run for six-seven years doing... unfortunate things in order to survive... not only is she learning about Shayara and the ways of her people, but she's learning about people in general. And she's fairly resistant.

And it takes a talk with Ryan to make Kieran realize that she doesn't hate him as much as she wants to... because if she did, she would be avoiding him entirely. She's bitchy and belligerent to him, but she is talking to him instead of to Donna or Ryan, so she's obviously got some degree of interest. Not romantic, not sexual, but she's attempting to figure him out. She's just really hostile about it for her own reasons.
Writing - XanaDuMalion


I am *way* too obsessed with pattern-mapping. I get intensely analytical about finding correlations, but these days my ant-seizure medication makes it harder to hold on to those correlations, so I pattern-map over and over, and branch out into new tangents and variables, just to try to get an idea of the things are are deliberately obscured from my view.


Three lines just intersected at an unexpected point, and that merits exploration.

EDIT: Hey! adric pointed me to Very interesting.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished analytical

And something that just makes me really happy.

yendi is, right now, at the doctor's office. No, he's not sick. He's having a checkup.

yendi's at the doctor's office!

I've been nagging him throughout our relationship to go to the goddamn doctor. His father had heart disease - died of cancer, but until he got cancer they were certain that the heart disease would kill him. yendi is ever getting closer to the age that his father died at... and he has various problems that seem to indicate heart problems. His weight. (And no, I'm not being mean. He's a lot more critical of his weight than I am. Yes, in public.) The way his calf spasms seems like a circulatory issue, mermaidblue says. Et cetera.

I told him he's not allowed to die until we're married and I'm the beneficiary of his life insurance.

But seriously. the idea of losing him scares the shit out of me. He's my heart. So it means so much that he's gotten over the fear of doctors enough to be in there right now.

Next we work on teaching him to drive. :)
  • Current Mood
    pleased pleased
Fizzgig! - velvetsteel


"Dear [Yendi],

I spoke to [landlady of almost three years] this morning. I'd like to talk to you when I'm back in town on Thursday to proceed forward on renting the house.

-- [owner of amazing gorgeous new house]"

Does that mean we got the house? I think that means we got the house.

I think that means we got the house.

SQUEE!!! *happily fizzgigs*

EDIT: Now we just have to come up with $1200. And pack. But I am confident that this will be done. *nod* If my tax return comes in this week, we've got it made; that's over $2K. If not.... I'm sure we'll get it one way or another. It feels like this is Right.

EDIT: Oh, score. Mom said she'll lend us the money and I can pay her back when my tax return gets here!