April 14th, 2004

Quiet - PhotoGnome

Happy Wednesday

Hello to new readers jrcubindy and madronn!

Joule is running about a day behind, so I'm not doing my welcomes very promptly. Which annoys me, as I like to be friendly and wave hi. So if you add me, maybe leave a comment so I'll know you're there?

I intend to do posts on the creation of a safe space and on the fear of moving/change. Remind me.

My sleep schedule is still fucked from this weekend - and I don't anticipate an improvement, as I'm sure I'll be sleeping off anesthetic for much of tomorrow.

Have I mentioned that I'm really freaked out about this? No? Well. I am.

Today's Special
Done with evals, must do book orders all damn day. Must get everything time-sensitive the hell off my desk!

Kill Bill
Pisses me off that I can't go. *growl*

Okay. Catching up on friends page, responding to poll stuffs, then work!
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

Quick Takes

Stuff I haven't covered yet:

* I met thejunebug! She is adorable, and I'm really happy for her and freyaskat.

* The thing about volta is that it never feels like he's visiting. I'm always thinking in terms of "oh, we can do that next week" ... I forget that he doesn't live here. That's how much he... meshes, for lack of a better word.

* I am thinking of auditing one or more of the following courses: Introduction to Neurobiology, Brain and Language, Neuropsychology: Child Disabilities, Neuropsychology and Cognition.

* Regarding methods of contact - I hate talking on the phone. Sometimes I don't even answer it. I know I have friends who go through periods of time when they think I don't like them because I don't pick up the phone and call them... it's not that, it's just that I won't use the phone if I can possibly avoid it. For me, the phone is only for emergencies.

* When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...they call this a muddle puddle tweedle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle.

* Why did the phrase "squirrel embolism" just pop into my head? WTF did they put in this coffee?

Expect me to add to this as the day goes on.

Stagnation vs. Growth

The discussion that begat this was with a beloved friend who, like me, does not fear the new and different; we're mutually saddened that so many people choose to stagnate all their lives.

An ongoing problem in my relationships has been fear of change, fear of growth. Most of you know about the last one, and it would be uncouth to go into that, so I won't.

But it *was* a problem there. As it was with my ex-husband. And with Layne. And and and... yeah. This isn't directed at anyone. It's just a musing. And it's certainly not ex-specific - I know many people that this applies to.

What got me started on this train of thought was this... none of these men were willing to move. Physically and emotionally. All of them, save Layne, are unconsciously determined to live less than ten miles from their mothers from their entire lives. Layne was just afraid of leaving his tiny area of comfort - Las Vegas & Kingman, Arizona. Others won't budge from the city they're in, never mind the state. I begged my ex-husband back in '98 to move to Atlanta, but he was too damn afraid.

They are afraid. What they're afraid of is not hiring a moving van, finding a new job, etc. - they're afraid of change itself, some to such a degree that they will not leave their mommy. Extreme - but true.

Because moving isn't just about the physical stuff... moving is about the courage to pull up your roots, the faith that you'll be happy where you end up, that you'll be okay in the face of massive change.

Sometimes you crash. Sometimes, the fall kills you. And sometimes... sometimes, you fly.
--Neil Gaiman, Sandman

Sometimes you fly. But you never will if you cling whimpering to the life you've had since birth, if you're afraid to even cast out on your own.

What is life without change?

Granted, not everyone has my temperament; I'm a tumbleweed, a dandelion seed. But I can't bear the thought of tying myself to the place of my birth forever, to the person I was at age 10, 15, 18 forever. Stagnation is a horrible, horrible thing, and I pity those who choose that.

And moving is but a symptom. It isn't the cause. Fear is the cause. Fear is not your friend... why are change-phobic people nurturing it, clinging to it? Why are they so afraid to actually take steps to grow up and have a life?

Look at your life right now. There is something that you can change for the better. What is it?

Are you going to do it?
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative


*pounds head* Words not working. Stupid language-center-fucked brainmeats. Trying to talk to nice girl and not making sense.

I need coffee.
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated
SillyMe - Photognome

Book Orders

There are a lot of idjits... but then there are the good guys. Prof. R., in particular - overkill!

"I bring you printouts from amazon.com, and also Barnes and Noble, and the publisher. Is this okay?"

"Yep - that gives me everything I need!"

"Are you sure?"


*laugh* I ask for title, author, publisher, and ISBN. All I really need, ultimately, is the ISBN; easy to order just based on that. But he's fussy in a cute way.

*stretch* Is it naptime yet?
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Writing - XanaDuMalion

(no subject)

I have a Dove chocolate bunny.

*examines brightly-wrapped bunny*

It was in my mailbox. A cursory search of the mailroom made it clear that no other bunnies had been distributed. I am therefore given to assume that this bunny was intended solely for me.

It is an anonymously-given bunny. Have I a secret admirer? As to that - have I only the reputation for devouring extra chocolate?

In any case, the bunny is regarding me invitingly, and I find that I must partake of it before its leer becomes quite distracting.
  • Current Music
    Paarfi of Roundwood
Elayna! - Karlita

Request for assistance on an article

From a friend of thryn's:

"I would need responses back by Monday afternoon at the latest. Here is what I need, plus your real name and the city and state where you live:

Basically, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the best way to encourage reading for kids and also how to teach them how to use and respect libraries. What are some methods parents can use; how can they find out about programs at their school that they can be involved with? Do you have any specific titles that you recommend or authors you really like? What about kids who are dead set against it? Advice?"

I have parents and aunts and uncles and librarians on my friends list... let's hear it! E-mail her your answers at dawn AT wordsbydawn DOT com. I'd like to see them here as well. Mine will be forthcoming.

More silly memeage, because I'm tired and my tummy is oogie

From rosefox:

OkCupid asks people to describe themselves using three adjectives. Which ones would you suggest for me, and why?

From catvalente:

Fill in the blanks.
I ____ Shadesong.
Shadesong is ____.
If I were alone in a room with Shadesong, I would _______.
I think Shadesong should______.
Shadesong needs ____.
Shadesong will never ______.
I want to _________ Shadesong.
Shadesong can ______ my _______.

Yes, I know, stupid memeage, but I'm oogie and petulant so I'm comment-whoring in hopes of distraction.
  • Current Music
    Beastie Boys, "Sabotage"
Feral - PhotoGnome

late-ish for me

Don't wanna go to bed! *petulant littlestompybootsdance* When I wake up, I hafta go get my mouth all sliced up. So I don't want to sleep. Because I am perversedly convinced that if I don't sleep, it won't be morning.


Did a stickerbook with Elayna (thanks, manifestress!

She then helped me pick out a song on iTunes (thanks for the Pepsi code, kimeepower!) - Modest Mouse, "The World at Large". Neither of us had heard Modest Mouse before, but we like the song.

AIMed for the first time in a long time - multitasking as I did laundry.

At thevault's online encouragement, I ditched the cleaning and plopped myself on the couch and watched three episodes of Fushigi Yuugi. thevault is a bad influence.

Discovered that my collar key is missing. Um. Eek? Fucking cats. E-mailed volta to request that he order more keys. Will look more later. Will keep new keys in the little zippered pounch in my purse that holds my pillbox.

Read much of Sethra Lavode. Want to finish it tonight - but the words are sliding around on the paper. *pout*

And here I am.

yendi is snoring. Bitch says he doesn't snore. Bitch snores.

I want to sleep with a stuffed animal tonight. I'm gonna go get one. G'night, all...
  • Current Mood
    anxious apprehensive