Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

  • Mood:


Cute t-shirts. Panties. The jeans that fit me the bestest. What passes for "eveningwear" - the slinky polka-dot dress volta bought me, the slinky mesh separates I got at Anthropologie, the non-slinky sundress with the strawberries on it. Sunscreen. Sandals. Books - as if I'll have time to read. Notebooks - because I will make time to write. Bathing suits. I'm bringing a larger suitcase than normal as I'd be cutting it close with a carryon, and I know laundry takes up extra room, and I am likely to have a few souvenirs.

I. Am. Fucking. Terrified.

Going "home" for the first time in ten years. Probably for the last time.

What if everything's different? I don't mean the tourist shit.

What if everything's the same?

What if I don't know my way around anymore? That's haunting me.

What if what if?

What if I see people I know? What if I don't? What if people remember me? What if they don't?

What if I get overwhelmed?

What if I feel nothing at all anymore?

Got to keep breathing.
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