Me: You have been unfluffed for some time. You need to (e)rectify this.
Him: Fourteen months and counting.
Him: Don't think I'm not trying.
Me: How are you not getting any if you're trying?
Him: I've given that lots of thought.
Me: You're not an unattractive man.
Him: I think the problem is I'm repulsive.
Me: Except that you're not. The fact that you're not repulsive somewhat negates that theory.
Him: You say that. But you've got documented brain damage.
Me: Well. True.
See, I don't get it. There are apparently people out there who are quite attractive and who are allegedly trying to get laid who are somehow not getting laid. This does not compute. If you want to have sex, and you're an intelligent and attractive person, how are you not having sex?
I mean, this friend of mine? I'd do him. Why are you ladies not doing him? I don't get it. But then, I do have documented brain damage... :)