Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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Worthy of note

In my last entry, I stated that I had not written for seven years after the rape.

I want to make sure to point that out. Because I've had people think I'm especially tough and gifted and have effortlessly surmounted my damage.

I have been writing fiction since I was ten years old. (Poetry since I was eight). Every day or almost every day.

The night of the rape, I was writing. And I got the urge to go out for a walk. And...

After the rape, I did not write for seven years. Not. One. Word.

He took my voice.

The stories were still in my head, of course. Still growing. But I'd lost the ability to tell them. And... I am my writing.

Seven years until I started to write again.

This is important to note: it doesn't happen all at once, the getting better. But it happens.

He took my voice.

I took it back.

Healing takes work. I don't know that I'll ever stop working. But don't delude yourself into thinking that I got poof-all-better or, worse, that there's something wrong with you that you *haven't*.

Do the work. Take it back.
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