Back when Elayna was only barely a toddler, I joined a mailing list called Tamson House - a place for Charles de Lint fans. Fantastic list, and to this day I have lots of TH friends. :) Anyway! This was eight years ago, about.
And yendi joined about the same time I did.
Instant connection - not in a "marry me!" way, but in a friends way. We were soon corresponding offlist quite a bit. And that continued for years.... yendi was, for a while, the best friend I'd never met.
A note here - we both had idly flickering intellectual crushes on each other, but we didn't tell each other, because, well, I thought I'd never rate a guy as amazing as him... and he didn't tell because, well, I was dating someone. Who I would eventually marry, because I make stupid decisions. Then happily divorce, because sometimes I make good decisions. And he stalks me to this day. *waves at psycho ex*
So you see that neither of us thought we had a chance, so we were just friends + admiration.
We met each other for the first time on my honeymoon. I honeymooned at DisneyWorld and in Atlanta, my first time ever being in Atlanta. (Yes, I made a lot of compromises in that relationship.) And it was one of those things where a person walks into a room and everyone... else... just... falls... away.
Again, this was still not in a romantic or lustful way! But we found that there was *absolutely* a connection there. We'd jokingly called ourselves siblings before, so we stuck to that. My big brother.
And slowly we both realized that it was a lot more than that.
In a way, I have to thank my ex-husband. Even though yendi knew what sort of creature my ex was, he was still too moral to do anything of a more-than-friends nature, physically or not, or to advocate my leaving the relationship....
So why do I have to thank my ex?
Because when he decked me - in front of my daughter - and I grabbed Elayna up and fled to my parents' house....
He called yendi to confess. (No, they weren't friends. Ex didn't even like him. But Ex has never made sense. Yendi and I theorize that he wanted absolution from my best friend.)
And that was when the definite shift occurred for yendi. That this man did not deserve me, and that I needed to not be with this man.
It was still some time later that we technically became partners... it's something that we grew into, not just something we decided some day. But I moved to Atlanta to be with him in June 2001, and I regard that as one of the best decisions I have ever made.
And yeah, we went through some trials 'round the end of 2002, but we're all the stronger for it. We know.
It's clear to pretty much everyone else, too.... no one on Tamson House was surprised that we finally got together, and no one here was surprised when we announced our engagement!
We just are. And I love him whole bunches.