Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

A nearlywildroses and friends luncheon

For those of you who are coming in late, sibylla and I are the nearlywildroses. Nearly wild roses are decadent and have filthy filthy minds and love it in the gutter, as they have brought plenty of velvet throw pillows with them. They are mischievous wayward young "ladies", and tug everyone (hi, dark_blade!) down into the depths of their depravity.

They also speak of themselves in the third person, and in rather regal tones.

Maggiano's! Pasta pasta for everyone and nice red wines; spontanaeity on a workday! kaliwohi conveyed us; seeking company, we invited the lovely dark_blade, and impulsively swept yendi and Elayna up in our wake....

Maggiano's! The promised land! Plates heaped high with innuendo! Quotable quotes (and do note that Elayna was across the table from the nearlywildroses and dark_blade and could not hear well):

sibylla: "Let's beat up the Chinese people and take their cake!" (not racist, mind you! just hungry.)

"I'm torn." "Like between the Union and the Confederacy?" (this one was said frequently, in all manner of situations.)

sibylla: "These gnocchi look... obscene." Indeed, the gnocchi had a delicate little fold in its nether regions... which sibylla proceeded to lick slowly and suggestively. Naughty sibylla. This led into a discussion of *ahem* weather. "It's very humid down there." "Down where?" "You know. Down south." "Ah, yes, yes. Very hot and moist." "One might say sultry." We told Elayna we were talking about Vietnam. Jungle climate, you know.

"We know from wonky brains!" --all three "ladies"

And the thing is - we three all know each other so damn well that the instant one of us flashes on a thought, we all hop in the handbasket together... much gigglefitting was had.

On the way home, kaliwohi related an amusing tale. See, he's a massage therapist. And this morning, we was called by someone who clearly wanted phonesex. Now, kaliwohi isn't a hooker, but, y'know, he was bored. And it showed in his "performance".

Guy: "Will you fuck my mouth?"
kaliwohi: "Okay, sure, I guess."

To us - "I mean, generally, I have more of a work ethic, but I wasn't getting paid for this, you know? Mostly he just wanted to hear me say 'take it, take it.'"

Me: "In that laconic tone of voice?"

Him: "Yep. I mean - I'm not getting paid for this shit."

At this point, sibylla and I started giggling about road humps. And I was laughing so hard that I had no idea how this train of thought occurred, but kaliwohi popped out with "At lease they're not vending machines with vaginas."

nearlywildroses: "What?!?"

kaliwohi: "Vending machines. You know. With vaginas. Like you get in sex shops."

Me: "I'm sorry, HOW did you get there from here?"
sibylla: "Well, they wouldn't fit!"

kaliwohi: "Well, you'd need to get large ones."

The discussion degenerated into daydreaming about a nearlywildroses phone sex line. We would lounge about on pillows pleasuring each other between calls. And hey, more money-making opportunities - webcam! sibylla already has one, even!

Okay. I think I'm done now. *giggle*
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