Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

Character Poll

On Friday, I encouraged you to ask my characters anything.

Most of the questions had nothing to do with my characters. Doofs. So here are the two that *do*.

mermaidnchains -- Napalm: ever burn anything, eh, 'personal'?

No. Oh, shit - I'm all paranoid now...

whitecrow0 -- Alanna - What do you get out of being the false Lishaya? Would you do it again if you could?

That's complicated.

This is what I was born to. This is all that I know. So the second question... I don't know.

When I was a kid, I was high on this all the time. Queen of the world! Everyone spoiled me, everyone wanted to please me. Outside of the Council, a lot of people were afraid of me... but I grew to love that. :) I have power. By fearing me, they give me power, and I was drunk on power.

Lately, I'm not sure that I want to be feared... but it's too late. Nothing can change it now. I'm... trapped here.

And I know I'm not her. I know that this is someone else's place, and though I don't tell anyone, the idea of her, of someone that much more powerful than me, coming here and seeing me pretending...

I don't want to be here, but they won't let me leave. He won't let me leave. And... lately I've been wanting to die. But he won't let me.

I stopped wanting this a long time ago. When I'm high, I can forget what I am. And what I'm not. But coming down half-kills me.

They say that when Dasaroi are homesick, they're homesick for Shayara. Despite my position... I'm still homesick. This is not where I belong. And I'm scared.

*bitter laugh* And no one will talk to me. Ryan... I think he'd listen. If he could see me, Alanna. Not the false Lishaya. Just me. But Ryan edges away, won't let me even begin to speak to him. And he always arrives just when I'm trying, and he takes me away...

The boy I have a crush on wants me dead. Don't think I don't know about him, and about Kristian. I know.

But I hope they succeed.
Tags: poll, shayara, shayara.alanna
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