Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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The difference

The difference between my ex leaving and volta leaving is that I know that volta's coming back. Not going into the ex-to-partner comparison thing; just assume different planets and leave it at that.

I don't just know that Volta's coming back because he's already bought his plane ticket. :) I feel it, and I trust. Past experiences have made it difficult to trust... but with him, as with yendi, trust comes implicitly and absolutely. With them, I Know. I trust. I love. And so does he, and there is no doubt of it.

When Volta's here, it's not a hypercompressed weekend in which not enough gets done! It just is. We don't have to accomplish X, Y, and Z all in one day... because there will be other days. He fits seamlessly into our lives. kaliwohi agrees - he fits.

It feels so natural that I end up missing him not because of sex and activities, but because it feels like he should be grocery shopping with us, or playing backgammon with Elayna. Because he is part of my everyday life.

And in a way, that makes the distance not hurt so much. Because I know that he is there, that I'm always his. And I know that he'll come back.
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