It's strange to realize that what one was getting was not only not what one needed, but... borderline unconscionable. (My kiri seems to this that it was totally unconscionable.) Like not realizing that my experiences in the wilderness survival camp were abusive until, upon hearing the stories years later, people told me it was.
No, this isn't about abuse.
But it's about something that I didn't realize at the time Wasn't Right. I thought it was kinda shitty, but figured that that was just the way things were, the way this sort of interpersonal dynamic worked.
Until my kiri showed me differently today.
He cares more deeply about this than I'd thought possible... and was shocked to hear how this specific thing had been before.
He takes care of me to an astonishing degree, and I am more grateful every day.
Just... wow. Happy surprise.
I may elaborate on this later, but ashlupa's picking me up any minute...