Next week you will get to see the wonderfulness ashlyme
and I have been bouncing about. :) For now: behold the ToC of Liminality
“A Summoning of Monsters” – Jack Hollis Marr
“Love Letters for the Itinerant” – Lisa M. Bradley
“The Furtive Pantheon” – Erik Amundsen
“The devil riding your back” – Gabby Reed
“A Broken Heart” – Lev Mirov
“Arson Poetica” – Dana Koster
“For Sale” – Susan Carlson
“Sacred” – Gemma Files
“Made Out of the Terror” – Jazz Sexton
“Collyer” – Rachel Verkade
“Self-Portrait as Bilbo Baggins” – Ada Hoffmann
“Topological Grief” – Mary Alexandra Agner
“Ghosting” – Lynette Mejía
“Love in Graduate School” – Cassandra Phillips-Sears
“Scion” – G.K. Hansen
“The Knowing” – Alicia Cole
“moss covered” – Amber Bird
“Sea Widow” – J.C. Runolfson
“The Word for Love” – Adrienne J. Odasso
“Orpheus Rides West/Letter to Eurydice from Deep Inside the Teenage Wasteland” – Nate Maxson
“Make the Night Go Faster” – Sofia Samatar
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So part of pet ownership is evaluating what the pet really needs - for Nick, that was time and space, but for Charlotte, it's being a solo cat. Locals, have you a currently-pet-free home for a beautiful little girl-cat? She is an absolute darling as long as she doesn't have to deal with other pets!
Charlotte left her last home because she needed more human attention; she vented her frustration by peeing on her owner's bed. She hasn't done that here (peed in the dining room once), so having a human around really does help her.
She is a doll; she'll give you lots of affection when there are no other pets around! She's a jumper and climber, and loves toys; she comes with a cat tree, a bunch of toys, a litter boxes, et cetera.
We can transport her a short-ish distance (New Hampshire, sure! Georgia, no!), but obviously a local home would be ideal. Also because we'd like to see her again!
*sigh* I didn't want to write this. But. I can no longer deny that she really needs to be the only pet in her home.
So we adopted Nicodemus in late December. Full story here
, but the info you need is that he was a stray for some undeterminable amount of time and had all the puppy PTSD you'd expect. He bonded hard to me and Elayna, and very much wanted no part of anyone else; it took him about a month to get comfortable with Adam, even. And... he was not a pettable dog. Which was a sadness, because I wanted to snuggle him! He did curl up next to me from the very beginning - his natural position = pressed against my thigh, when I'm sitting on the couch. He'd just tense and snap if anyone tried to pet him. So we had to sit back and let him adjust, let him start feeling safe enough.
About a month ago, he finally started to ask for very brief pets - tiny whine, hopeful look, his paw tugging at my forearm. Still, one or two pets and he was visibly Done.
And then came last weekend's party.
Nick's progress has been measured in a bunch of way. His growing food security (he used to wolf down all available food instantly, not trusting that he'd get fed again; now he nibbles over the course of the day), his comfort with other people being in the house (oh man he was super defensive for the first few months! but now he settles down quickly, ceasing the barking in the first few minutes), and, as the party showed, his comfort with large numbers of people in his space.
The last time I had a bunch of people over, he was visibly tense, and I had to be vigilant lest someone try to pet him or pick him up.
He played with people through the entire party.
Guests realized that he loves
it when you throw his Boba Fett for him! At one point he had a three-person game of fetch going on. Oh, and he actually plays fetch now - rather than getting toy-defensive and hunkering over Boba, snapping when you try to get it? As of Saturday, he brings Boba back to the person who threw it, drops it at their feet, and does not snap or charge when they pick it up.
This is all huge
. PTSD pup feels safe, not just in normal household situations, but in loud parties with lots of people, many of them strangers. He played for hours. He snuggled and licked people he'd just met. It was amazing. <3
And that, I think, flipped a switch in him - because now he loves being petted. I first discovered this when I was putting his leash on and he clearly demanded headskritches. Nicky, who used to snap at being touched at all, is feeling safe enough to plop his throat down into my hand.
So many skritches this week. <3
I know eight months seems like a long time, but for stray/probably abused animals, it's really not. He's made huge progress in leaps and bounds, and continues to do so - he had his first dog park experience Sunday, too, and was safe and happy with a bunch of new dogs in a new environment!
So I just want to thank everyone who's been part of helping Nicky realize he's in a safe, stable, and loving place. People who were kind and patient with him during his first outing at Arisia right through people who played with him last weekend. Everyone who gave him time and space and told him he was a good boy. Thank you. It's working. <3
Originally posted by hammercock
at vote vote vote
It's primary day in Massachusetts and in many other places. If you're eligible, please get out there and vote. If you think your vote doesn't matter, you're wrong; the turnout is apparently so low that you actually have a disproportionate amount of say JUST BY SHOWING UP. If you hate Republican obstructionism and you don't vote, your lack of participation emboldens them. If you hate the way Koch brothers and their ilk are trying to buy every election possible, your vote against their preferred candidates is probably the only method you have to thwart them.
If you are able to vote, and you don't, you're saying you're okay with the way things are now.
I'm not okay with the way things are now. And I have no money to spare to help my preferred candidates, so I'm voting for the ones I support on my ballot.
VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.
and I are working on selecting which poems will go in issue #1 of Liminality
. The problem is this: We bought twice as many poems as we had room for, figuring that half would go into issue #2...
...but all of these poems together just flow in a perfect way, and we want to do a double-sized issue #1.
I mean it. Like, we nudged them into order and it was like a light descended from the heavens and a choir of angels sang.
But we only have the budget for half of them.
I haven't been pushing the "support us!" thing, but we do have a way that you can support us. From our sponsorship page:
$10: Sponsor a poem directly! You’ll be listed on our Sponsors page and thanked in that issue’s editorial.
$25: Your pet is our mascot for the issue! Send us a pet picture and a brief bio to grace the page of that issue’s editorial.
$100: Sponsor an issue! Be an epic patron of speculative poetry! You’ll get all of the appreciations listed above, and we’ll work out something special with that issue’s editorial.
Want to give us more money? Oh, please do. Contact us at liminalitypoetry AT gmail.com, and we’ll figure out something fun.
If we get $120, we can do the whole double issue. This is a small total, so anything you can chip in really does count!Click here
to sponsor poems!
* Great party yesterday, with so many awesome people from so many social circles.
* Solid writing week last week, after moving Elayna into her new college...
* ...which she is very happy at so far!
* Many adult funtimes. :)
* Took Nicky to the dog park for the first time today; he is utterly blissed out.
Lack of writing here is not a Bad Thing, it is that life is very full of Good Things, several of which have been spontaneous, away from the computer, or both. :) Mink's Andy observed yesterday that I look really happy. I really, really am. :)
So. I had had some big life plans with Judah, Before. And after, we immediately shifted into big life plans with Michael and Lynne. So when that ended in January, once I got past the whiplash, I took a deep breath.
And said "Okay, this is an opportunity."
The stuff we'd been planning on? Was not going to happen. Which meant a lot of bad things, but it also
meant that we were in a rare place to be able to sit down with that now-empty space and figure out what we really, actually wanted to do
I took out a notepad and a pen and said to Adam, "Okay, what would you want to be doing this year and beyond if you could do anything
? Blue-sky stuff. What do you really want?" And we wrote all of that down, and first steps to make it all happen. Same for myself.
I realized this month that it is only August and I have already done everything
on my dream list.
I'm not going to post Adam's because it's his, but here's mine. Note that I was shy and listed quieter, more attainable things than what I ended up doing. Ask the press I copyedit for for more work
Oh man I did like 6 books in May and that was a lot. But it's my primary source of income right now. Anyway, the way I went beyond in this one is that I get to actually edit books for them now if I want to. So this year, for the first time, I have requested partials and stuff! I haven't fallen in love with a manuscript yet, but when I do, I'll be able to add another title to my long list of titles. :) (Note that I am not jumping in to do acquisition for the hell of it. This'll be a lot of work, and I only want to do it if I love the book. Time management, y'all.)Start a Patreon page
Okay, I did that
, but I hate it; Patreon still hasn't delivered any of the features it's promised, and it's a struggle every month to actually get them to send me my money. I have to request it three times on three different days, then e-mail them to say "where is my money?" :/ I would prefer to be sponsored via PayPal subscription
, if you've a mind to sponsor me!E-mail acquaintances who write for Salon about how to do that. Well, I figured that one out
This is the first item on the list where I just jumped right ahead of the reasonable first step; I just grabbed some time and wrote the article and looked up who to send it to and boom, they took it, and now I have clips for my portfolio and stuff.Work on rape culture books
This one I didn't get as far on because of the next one on the list, but outlines and research and some writing have been done, so I'm giving myself this one on account of it says "work on" and not "complete".Novel
This. Oh man. Hi. I have a bit over half a novel now, just from this year. I burned straight through this spring, on a hell of a tear; I set it aside only because I needed to figure out how to do a tricky thing, and I figured it out, and it's amazing, and -
- then Elayna came home and refused to get a job or a volunteer gig or even let me know her schedule more than 15 minutes ahead of time, and that turned this into The Summer of No Writing Time/Space.
Her move-in day is Monday. Expect to not see me online a whole lot next week, because I have this story in my head struggling to get loose, and I am going to finish it by the end of September. I need to. I can. I will.E-mail to see if I can guest-edit a poetry magazine
I did that! But then I had a realization that affected any number of things from that point forward.
That realization was that I can do everything I've been wanting to do, just not necessarily exactly the way I thought I'd have to.
So I looked at the ideas for the magazine that Michael and Lynne and I were supposed to be starting together, and I asked myself, "Which parts of this are of core importance to me? And how can I do those things in a way that fits with my life?"
The answer was, among other things, that I really
still wanted to do a poetry magazine. How to fit that with my life? Well, I'd need to keep it small and manageable. Quarterly. Ten poems per issue, because I can raise or find $100 per quarter without having to do a life-consuming crowdfunding campaign or being beholden to anyone. The other thing I needed? A co-pilot! My body is unreliable. I don't want to take anything on that will fail if it's totally reliant upon me not having a migraine, et cetera. And I had just happened to befriend and fall in love with fellow poet ashlyme
... so that's how Liminality
Keep the last few paragraphs in mind, because those realizations have informed a lot of the year since I had them in April.[there are related things]
There are two other things that stem from my "what about those life plans did I really want?" that I'm making happen; neither are ready for announcement yet, but both follow the principle of "how can I make this happen in a way that fits with my life?" and "who is my co-pilot on this?"Look into foster care
I've posted about that before. :) We did indeed look into it! We have filled out the applications and done our first home study and MAPP classes start in two weeks and we are VERY EXCITED.Get more involved in local burlesque community
I don't want to dance professionally because dang that's a lot of depilation + see above re: my body being unreliable. So. This was the last item on the list, mostly because it was ill-defined and I didn't really know what the first steps would be! Fortunately, I saw a call for volunteers for Alterna-Tease
, and I was like "There! I can help there!" So we hosted some performers, and I volunteered to work registration at Friday's classes.
Which led to adventures. Because I got pulled into the first class due to insufficient number of students. "How to Host Burlesque."
Reader, I... might be good at that.
I'm going to talk in a separate post about my Year of Being Brave. It has informed my ability to do the stuff on this list, but it goes way beyond that, and this post is long already! But my choice to be brave and put myself in situations where adventures can happen totally led to me doing improv standup to a room of awesome burlesque performers. And apparently not sucking. :)
Also took the opportunity to offer my services to the heads of various favorite troupes - administrative, merch table, whatever, I just really enjoy our local burlesque and arts community and want to do stuff to help make it go.
And when I saw a call for volunteers for next month's Best of Sirlesque, I answered it. Originally I was just going to take tickets, but. They needed a stage kitten. So. :)
And that was the list. Everything and more. The more has included stuff like taking charge of my body and going to the geneticist, which led to the orthopedist, which led to the physical therapy that changed my damn life. Also finding a dentist I could work with and getting started on that.
And it's caused me to develop some good habits. Instead of saying "I wish I could do that" or "maybe someday" when I have an idea for something awesome, my first thought is now "How do I make this happen?" and doing it. (Just did for another thing this morning.) Major habit change!
I have done everything on this list. Some things are still in progress, but they're well underway.
Now's the time to ask what should be on my next
Achievement unlocked: Restraining order extended for another year.
This was my huge stressor for this week, and it was something I couldn't talk about on the public internet because I didn't want to remind Judah that it was today. (Yay benefiting from his forgetfulness and general lack of organization.)
Because, you see, I could have seen him today. It's the one time - prior to the trial - when he's allowed to be in the same room as me. I did not sleep last night. I have been tangled up all week about this, about the possibility of him being there.
I never want to see his face again.
You must realize: When a person is looking at you and actively decides to hit you, something behind their eyes changes. Something shifts.
I had years of goofing off in the kitchen and playful funtimes with him between his upcycles of emotional abuse, but since that moment, all other images of his face are gone. When I picture Judah, that is the face I see. Him in the basement making the decision that he's going to hit me now. That he gets to hit me now, that he thinks he's broken me enough that this won't even be the last time.
I almost threw up waiting in that courtroom today.
Yes, I am brave. Yes, I am fierce and strong. But I am also very afraid of the person who looked at me like that that day.
I am saying this with the hope that it will inoculate me. That's worked with triggery stuff before - noting and accepting and mapping the thing can defuse the thing. I'm saying this because I do believe he will show up at another party he believes I'll be at. (He has not updated his home address with Probation, the victim advocate told me today. He has to be served at the makerspace he's at intermittently. He knows this, and will claim ignorance that the order was extended as long as he can, I assume.) So I'm saying this with the hope that I can circumvent it, that I can stand fast and make the call and not dissolve into a fear-puddle.
So that's my day.
My broken foot is officially healed enough for me to start PT! I now need only wear the boot when actually in pain.
*chucks boot into the storage room with great force*
(Almost 3 full months, y'all.)
A few weeks ago, someone saw me naked for the first time.
My body has changed a lot over the years; I've been down as low as 85 pounds and up to 155 (which, yes, was overweight on me; I am 4'11" and sick of having that argument so don't start). Most of that was due to medical stuff.
But I lost 15 pounds after Judah's abuse, and then 10 after Lynne's abuse, and then I went into physical therapy, and the body I have now is a body I've never had before.
I am thin. Painfully so, I'd fretted during my Florida visit? But it turns out that was bad photography more than anything else. And I've been thin before; see above re: 85 pounds, and I was ~95 from 1995 through my move to Atlanta in 2001 (when I stopped having stress migraines because I suddenly felt safe, thanks Adam!).
But I've never been thin and healthy.
I weigh ~107 now. My stomach is flat. I have abs a bit? A bit more before I broke my foot and had to limit my PT, but still. There is no extra padding on my hips, my thighs. Even when thin I've been able to pinch an inch (oh, toxic childhood memes), but now I can't. All skin over muscle. And, critically, not skin over bone.
I am very slender, but I am strong.
And this is new and difficult to accustom myself to.
I was shy with my new person, the first new person I've had sex with with this new body. I did not feel quite like myself yet. The new body is a bafflement to me. I am learning it.
He was happy to learn it with me. :)
I'm not used to this being me. I'm still going to be very startled from time to time when I see myself in the mirror.
I've been holding off on this post because I didn't know how it ends, but I think it just doesn't end yet. I'm still observing. It's a process.
Hi. My body is healthier than it's been in a very long time.
I have a bunch of posts brewing in my head, but no time to write them; I have time now, but no brain. Because I had sedated dental work today. So mostly I'm just staring blankly at stuff. I am not allowed to knit lace today. Hi.
Things I want to write about:
* My continued Year of Being Brave and the unexpected places it's been bringing me.
* Related: Taking the time to figure out exactly what I want and go forth and getting it in the best and healthiest ways.
* My relationship with my body, specifically as it is newly both thinner and stronger.
* My magazine!
* Elayna's new college stuff
Other stuff going on:
* Oh man I have been doing a lot of things.
* Elayna goes back to school in a week and a half which means I get to have writing time again in a week and a half.
* Also soon? MAPP classes with the foster care place.
* Bash has a lump under his chin that I'm concerned about; vet Saturday.
* Um, so much of everything goes under the Year of Being Brave thing and I'm too spacy to write that coherently right now.
Yeah, I'm going to go lie down with a book.
(Dental work went fine, I did well, my mouth is very ouch right now but will recover.)
September 6. Our house. 2pm to whenever. RSVP here
From the event page:
I was trying to think up a clever name and whatever, but hey, let's just have a party. :) IF someone volunteers as grillmaster, we could make this into Pig Cotillion 2 (The Repiggening). But regardless, let's just have fun.
For now, the party is unthemed, although I encourage you to bring random stuff and spawn off a multitude of subthemes. Open-house style - show up whenever, leave whenever. Bring food if you like; if you do, please label ingredients! Gaming is likely to happen in the basement.
Standard house stuff: We have three cats and one dog. The dog does not want you to pet him. We'll do our best to clean up, but it's impossible to eradicate all dander; medicate if necessary! We are on the 71 and 73 bus lines, and we have ample free street parking.
Since stating party rules is a thing now: This is a no-abusers-allowed house. Adam and I will do our level best to ensure that you will never see one here. If there's a missing stair that we're unaware of, please tell us. We want our house and all of our gatherings to be as safe as possible for our community.
(There's nothing like inviting people to a party to remind one just how many circles exist in the greater Boston geek community. This'll be an interesting mixer!)
Please someone volunteer as grillmaster? *sparkle*
I'm back online after a briefish absence and following. sihaya09
has good links.
Originally posted by sihaya09
I have been following the events of police tyranny on the town of Ferguson, Mo, very closely.
A very brief summary: a police officer executed an unarmed teenager, Michael Brown Jr., over the weekend. There was a night of initial looting and rioting. That has given way to peaceful protests since Monday morning. Yesterday, a man was shot for waving a gun at police, but police are saying that it was "unrelated to protests." Police have militarized, wearing riot gear, donning sniper rifles and assault weapons (and pointing those things at unarmed protesters), and have taunted the protesters with "bring it, you fucking animals." They have tear gassed peaceful crowds, including one with a state senator present (Sen Maria Chappelle-Nadal). Alderman Antonio French was arrested for getting out of his car. Protest crowds that include children are being shot at with rubber bullets, nasty injuries are being reported. Police are also attempting a media crackdown-- they have assaulted and arrested peaceful journalists, and in one case gassed them to clear the area and then disassembled their camera equipment.
White open carry assholes with your assault rifles in Chipotle and Target? This is what tyranny looks like.
Here are people on the ground worth following (by no means a complete list):
Alderman Antonio French, arrested: https://twitter.com/AntonioFrench
Ryan J. Reilly, arrested Huffington post reporter: https://twitter.com/ryanjreilly
Christine Conetta, tear-gassed Huffington post producer: https://twitter.com/BmoreConetta
Wesley Lowery, arrested Washington post reporter: https://twitter.com/WesleyLowery
Elon James White, professional commentator who had a rifle aimed at him for approaching a cop with his hands up and asking which road to use to leave: https://twitter.com/elonjames
: Royal blue V-neck and slinky black skirt.Reading
: The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons
by Sam Kean.Writing
: Still in the pit of No Writing Time. Elayna goes back to college on September 1. In the meantime, grabbing shards of time for the novel-in-progress, which still needs a better working title. I recently wrote two short stories that are a bit in conversation with each other, and I really really hope they both get bought by their first-choice markets and come out soon so I can talk about them dammit. I have SO MUCH TO SAY. And the particular angle I took in them is very clearly influenced by the novel-in-progress.Knitting
in variegated dark reds, and Phi
in navy and gold for Elayna (new college colors).Planning
: Oh, goodness. Tonight's a party (at which I see fairylogic
, yay!); tomorrow, a cookout, a street festival, and a burlesque. Sunday has no plans in it thus far; there is a possibility, but a possibility is not a plan, and I'm keeping it open for potentially-necessary recovery time.
Why is this summer so busy? I mislike it.
So I got back from Florida, had a week of writing time (used appropriately, intermingled with Salon essay reactions, which... were a lot to manage), and went to New York, which is still the worst place on earth. We got to see Pippin and meet some dogs, at least.
And now I am home, with a lot to catch up on!
Crowdfunding recommendations: An Alphabet of Embers
and Accessing the Future
Two interviews with me went up yesterday.
* About "The Cartographer's Requiem"
* About "Becca at the End of the World"
And what now? Augh. That Florida/small break/NYC block loomed so large that I couldn't see past it! This week I have some dates. Also I have Planned Parenthood clinic escort training! I have a party to go to on Friday, but Saturday night I have four things to choose from. I am very interested in all of them! >.<
Writing time? You're funny. Probably not until Elayna returns to college in September. :( But I've nudged the small press I copyedit for to send me stuff to do in August. (I'd asked for a break this summer thinking I'd have writing time. But.)
The first reading period for Liminality
is closed! ashlyme
and I have our final slush rounds to do and a contract to draft. We have some AMAZING stuff already - this accidentally turned into reading for issues #1 and #2, unless someone wants to send me a small pile of money to make a double-sized first issue, because we just got so much brilliant work. Very, very happy that we did this!
Next week we're hosting Canadian burlesque dancers in our spare room. This is my life, and other than being a bit overstuffed at the moment, it's a good one.
Originally posted by rose_lemberg
at Why An Alphabet of Embers is Love
When I first envisioned the anthology, I knew that I wanted to do more than to create a book: I wanted other artists to create art that relates to the book. The whole process of fundraising for An Alphabet of Embers became just that, art enabling more art to be born.
The adventure began with a brilliant cover by the Hugo award-winning artist Galen Dara – this art is also being offered as postcards and posters to the Kickstarter backers!
And then I wrote the lyrics and commissioned a piece of music from one of my favorite creators, Emily Jiang; and as a stretch goal that has been reached, the Banjo Apocalypse Crinoline Troubadours will be writing lyrics and music as well!
And then I asked a bunch of poets to write science poetry about forgotten and overlooked figures of science and technology, for a bonus chapbook called Spelling the Hours! The book will include work by Sofia Samatar, Sonya Taaffe, Michele Bannister, Mari Ness, and many others! And it will be wonderful.
Spelling the Hours
And then Bogi Takács started creating Ember Letters for backers, and we are almost to a full set – some of these will be offered, free of charge, to backers who pledged at the 25$ level and higher:
And I have been drawing critter pictures
for backers (more information and pictures in this entry!
And then Kythryne Aisling of Wyrdling Studios created an exclusive series
of Phoenix jewelry
especially for the project. A piece will be included in the 200$ treasure boxes and two higher-tier rewards! In addition, Kythryne offers 5$ off a custom jewelry piece worth 50$ and higher, to every backer who pledged 25$ and more! (offer good for two years).
But wait, there is more from Kythryne: she is also creating jewelry inspired by the Banjo Apocalypse Crinoline Troubadours’ “Ballads from a distant star,” a cycle of music that will include the song BACT are composing for us.
But wait, that’s not all! Our 8k stretch goal includes a whole joke issue of Stone Telling, choke-ful of rhymed mermaids, illustrated by B&W photographs of Mippo the plush hippo! Shweta Narayan and I will be co-editing this marvel of marvels, should we reach 8k!
Mermippo wants YOU!
And ALSO, Saira Ali of Kitabiyat press will be creating broadsides of one story from An Alphabet of Embers, printed on a 19th century letterpress, and sent to all backers who pledged 45$ and higher, for no additional charge (but we need to hit 8k for that to happen).
To round out the sheer awesomeness that is An Alphabet of Embers, we will create an audiobook if we reach 9k
Is that all? No, that’s not all! For higher-level backers, I will be creating: custom poems, non-fiction essays about linguistics and folklore, and treasure boxes full of TREASURE. There are a few more poems, boxes, and essays left!
And of course, I am already reading submissions to create the very best anthology of marvelous, short, surrealist, magical, beautiful writing - which, thanks to our backers, will also now be lavishly illustrated!!
An Alphabet of Embers is going to be a work of many people – writers, poets, artists, musicians, jewelry-makers, and even hard-working blue plush hippos, as well as your intrepid editor and Team Stone Bird. So thank you, all of you, for getting us this far; and we’ll get farther yet. So if you’re dithering, dither no more There are only 57 hours left to pledge!
Originally published at RoseLemberg.net. You can comment here or there.
While I was in Florida last week, I was having a hard time with all of the Zionist messaging, given that Israel is currently bombing the hell out of Palestine. I had a lot of feels, y'all.
So I wrote about it, and then said "you know what? I am going to submit this somewhere."
So um today I have a piece in freakin' Salon.com. About Gaza.
It's called "Israel is Not My Birthright"