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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
The cat's name is not... 
5th-Mar-2013 04:26 pm
Hearth


The cat's name, at the shelter, was Bunz.

The cat was not a Bunz.

We now know that his name is Count Ampersand Vorcattigan Engineer the 3rd, but in the beginning hours of my birthday party, we still didn't know what his name was... so we compiled a list of things his name was not. Some of you may have caught the hashtag on Twitter, but oh, there was more. I've compiled the full list below - from Twitter, Elayna's secret Tumblr, and the notebook we kept on the table.


2Chainz
99 Problems
1044
Abe Vigoda
Abercrombie & Fitch
Achilles
Acronym
Agent C Starfuck
Alex Trebek
Alopecia
Aloysius Q. Thundersnort
Amaran
Ang Lee's Hulk
Anglican
Apple Maps
Arthropod
Astrolabe
Atastrophe
The Aristocrats
Autoimmune Disorder
Aziz Ansari
Bag
Baldric
The Banky
Bazooka Joe
Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit
Beast Boy
Beaumains
Beauregard
Beau Brummel
Bees Are Nice
Belgium
Ben Wyatt
Bender T. Rodriguez
Better Late than Pregnant
Bicarbonate
Bidet
Big Fun
Big Lizard
Bitchin' Camaro
Bitchin’ Meatcar
Blooper
Blue Oyster Cult
Blue Power Ranger
Bob
Booger
Booster Gold
Boris The Sprinkler
Bramble
Briar
Bro Brummel
Bumbershoot
Bunsen Honeydew
by the Moldy Peaches
Cake
Candyman
Canis Lupus
Caprica Six
Captain Aardvark
Captain Tightpants
Cardinal(s)!
The Cat
The Cat’s Name
Chairman Meow
Chicken And Waffles
Chuck
The Church of England
Ceiling Fan
CERN
Cheese Shop
The Chicken Lady
Cincinatti
Colonel Mustard
Colonic
Communism
Community Sausage
Corbin Bernson
Crashblossom
Darth Hairball
Dat Ass
David Caruso
The Decider
DeeDee Ramone
Deep Longing
Define Your Terms
DeForest Kelley
Detective Roy Mustang
Do Not Microwave
Doctor Theophilus
Dog
DotJPEG
Double Umlaut
Dubois
Dubuque
Dutch Schultz
E-Z Bake Oven
Eddie Gizzard
Eleven
Emil Blonsky
Empty Nest
Engine
Esperanto
Facehugger
Fartblossom
Felch
Feline of Gor
Fimbulwinter
Fin Fang Foom
Florida Man
Fluffernuggets
Fluffernutter
Fluffy 9000
Fluffytoombles
Fooly Cooly
Forklift
Friendzone
Frodo
Fruit Viking
Gangnam Style
Gar Logan
Get on my Horse
Gif
Gilbert Gottfried
Gob Bluth
God Emperor of Tuna
Gorilla Grodd
The Gout
Grape Ape
The Groosalugg
The Guild Of Calamitous Intent
Harbl
He Who Must Not Be Named
Helios Fluffykins the Third
Heliotropism
The Homestuck Fandom
Hot Tub Time Machine
Howard Cosell
IMDB
ios6.1
I’m Late
I Drank What?
I Often Dream Of Trains
Indiana
Inigo Montoya
Internet Porn
Interrobang
Jean-Luc
Jedi Mind-Meld
John Waters
Joy Division
Kegstand
Kent
Killface
KISS principle
Kit Romney
Lactation Consultant
Lancelittle
Lane Meyer
Larry Storch
Laser Tag
Laundry Hamper
Leeloo Dallas Multipass
Liberachi With A Z
Licking Toads
Lister
Londo Mollari
Look for the Union Label
The machine that goes PING!
Magnesium
Malkovich
Manifesto
March Hare
Mascarpone
Mastication
Maxwell's Demon
Meat Popsicle
Meat Sauce
Merkin Stand
Methadone
Michael Stipe
Michael Stripe
Microsoft Bob
Misandry
Mister Cat
Mr. Giles
Mr. Roboto
Mr. Sphincter
The Mister T Experience
Mr. Tumnus
Modern Love
More Beer
Morgan Freeman
Morrolan
Mouse Rat
Mucus Welby
Muffin
My God, the Eels
My Kickstarter Stretch Goal
My TED Talk
Myocardial Infarction
Mysterious Growth
Neopolitan
New Philip
Newt Gingrich’s Next Ex-Wife
Nickelback
Not Bunz
Nutmeg
Obi-Wan
Objects In Mirror
Octomom
Oglaf
On The Ragweed
Open Source Hardware
The Original Cast Of “Hair”
Ottawa
Ovary
Parthenogenesis
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Peeta
Pendragon
The Pennsylvania Turnpike
Pets.com
Photobomb
Pickle Juice
Pineapple Salsa
Piquant
Pistachio
Please Don’t Shave Me
Pon Farr
Poo Poo Platter
Pope Eggs Benedict
Pope Benedict
Porktopus
Public Image Ltd.
Pumpkin
Prague
Professor McGonagle
Psychopomp
Pterodactyl
Punch Clock
Q
The Quicker Picker Upper
Racefail '09
Raspberry Ketones
Rear Car Window
Red Sonja Henie
Replacement
Reply All
Rest for the Wicked
Retweet
Rex Manning Day
Rick Moranis
Rimshot
Ripley
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not
Robert Paulson
Rockford Files
Ron Swanson
Rory Calhoun
Rumplestiltskin
Rutabaga
Sad Trombone Slide to E flat
Salmonella
Samwise
The Sarlacc Pit
Sarsaparilla
Sassypants
Sausage Pizza
Schadenfreude
Schrodinger
Schwartzchild Radius
Screwdriver
Sequester
The Seventh Borough
Shark Bait
Shark Fin Soup
Shawarma
Shazam
Sheridan LeFanu
Shit My Dad Says
Sidewalk Sale
Sir Not Appearing in the Film
Sk8erboi
Skyline Chili
S'mores
Snuffleupagus
So’s Your Face
Socrates
Soylent Green
Space Key
Sparkle Motion
Spinal Tap & Puppet Show
Splotch
Squirtle
Starbuck
Steve Jobs
Stop Scratching My Balls
Stop Teasing The Dog
Suuuuuuusan
Swag
SWINTON
Sympathy for the Devil
Tachyon Pulse
Tam Lin
Tapas
Tapeworm
Teabag
Teal
Teal Deer
Tesla
Testicular Parfait
That’s What She Said
That Cat Starring Marlo Thomas
Thrackazog
Thundersnow
Tom Haverford
Tom Jones
Tonsillectomy
Torquemada
Toscanini
Total Eclipse Of The Heart
The Tour de France
Tralfamadorian
Tree Fiddy
Triffid
Tripitaka
Tucker
Tumblr
Turkish Delight On A Moonlit Night
Turmeric
Twilight
Two Dollars
Tybalt
Tyrell
Unfortunate Window Shopping
Urban Dictionary
Uterus
Wafer Thin Mint
Waffles
Wait, what?
Waldo
Walter Mitty's To-Do List
Wash
the entire lyrics of We Didn’t Start The Fire
Weird Thing On His Ear
Well There's Your Problem, You Have a Unicorn In Your Cylinder.
Wendigo
What The Hell?!
The Who
Wishlist
The Wretched
Yak
You Lost the Game
Your Mom
Zzasszz

So that happened.
Comments 
5th-Mar-2013 09:31 pm (UTC)
*gigglesnort* Favorite thing read today!
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
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5th-Mar-2013 10:32 pm (UTC)
What's his everyday name, if you know it yet?
5th-Mar-2013 10:34 pm (UTC)
Ampersand. We'll see what nicknames develop!
5th-Mar-2013 11:21 pm (UTC)
&
5th-Mar-2013 11:33 pm (UTC)
"We call him 'The Symbol Cat' because nobody can pronounce '&'"
6th-Mar-2013 12:15 am (UTC)
Sandy?
5th-Mar-2013 10:33 pm (UTC)
Okay, that's it, my next cat is going to be a ginger and s/he will be named Turneric.
5th-Mar-2013 10:34 pm (UTC)
We were, of course, totally thinking of you when we came up with turmeric and magnesium!
5th-Mar-2013 10:36 pm (UTC)
Those are awesome. I am torn between 99 problems and Feline of Gor for best runner-up.
5th-Mar-2013 11:08 pm (UTC)
Well now. If I ever need to name a pet, real or fictional, I'm starting right here! :-)
(Deleted comment)
5th-Mar-2013 11:34 pm (UTC)
The cat's name is not The Cat's Name. Obviously.
(Deleted comment)
6th-Mar-2013 02:58 pm (UTC)
I would have completely sporfled if he'd turned out to be Tripitaka. There would have been questions about which of you was Monkey, and Sandy, and Pigsy, and the dragon horse...
(Deleted comment)
6th-Mar-2013 06:30 pm (UTC)
Just the first hour!
8th-Mar-2013 08:04 pm (UTC)
KITTY!!!
8th-Mar-2013 08:22 pm (UTC)
I just laughed so hard that I teared up and wheezed and got a stitch in my ribs and J had to come thundering out of the office to see what in the fuck was wrong with me this time.

I think SWINTON! has an obligatory exclamation point, and you couldn't have named him Fartblossom as that is Edison's usename.
8th-Mar-2013 08:24 pm (UTC)
We probably got Fartblossom from you, then!

We were saying the whole time that we wished you were there. Cat names = one of your mutant powers.
8th-Mar-2013 08:30 pm (UTC)
It may well be true. I am responsible for The Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh Padmasambhava Sanbandarong Jabus Abrams, after all.

I totally wish I'd been there too!
21st-Mar-2013 03:57 am (UTC)
I lost myself halfway down the list and thought for a moment this was an extension of your BPAL sale.
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